14 Problems Only Comedians Will Understand

13. 'Have You Considered Doing A Bit About...'

Stop right there. Stop it. Nope. Do not finish what you were going to say. I will staple you.

Comedians are paradoxically very proud and very hungry for validation. This is going to sound arrogant (that bridge was burnt when we demanded microphones) but we don't like being given helpful hints on how to do our job.

If your suggestion's rubbish, which they often are, ('what about a superhero priest?', 'MUM, STOP CALLING ME') then that puts us in an awkward position of going 'ha... maybe ...' then immediately changing the conversation and hoping you don't notice.

Or, WORSE, if the idea's good, then it's your idea, and we don't want your ideas, we want ours. It sounds ungrateful but the only way comedians improve is by coming up with good ideas and terrible ideas, and learning the difference ourselves. Personal ownership of an idea is very important, and we don't want them handed to us. God, what utter prigs we sound.