5. Don't Even Think About It
Isn't life with a kid like this already enough of a nightmare?
4. Time For A New Year's Resolution
"Merry Christmas and I love you...but seriously, it's getting a little out of control."
3. You Are Much Better
"Is Mrs. Storz gonna have to choke a *****?:
2. Just Cut To The Chase, Young Man
I think I heard a guy use this exact line at a bar last weekend.