15 Celebs With Astoundingly Uncool Real Names

9. Snoop Dogg - Calvin Cardozar Broadus

Every so often a celebrity manages to cross the divide from doing what they're known for doing, and successfully becoem a hit in an entirely different format. Snoop Dogg is such a character, having jumped back and forth between music, acting and just generally snooping around wherever anyone wants to see him. His reputation for loving ladies and taking legally frowned upon substances has invented a cultural presence for him, where he is observed as a much loved scamp who does all the things you're not supposed to, but without harming anyone. We'll forget that he recently decided to rename himself Snoop Lion, because that was more than a little strange, and not half as cool-sounding as Snoop Dogg, because the man is frankly off the Fonzometer. This is made all the more impressive when you realise that he was born with the name Calvin. Calvin is the sort of name you expect to be given to the short, slightly podgy, nerdy, white American kid in every childhood movie involving schoolyard antics ever made. It is the name of an innocent and somewhat naive kid who is terrified of getting grounded. It is most certainly not the name of a man who once said "Waitin on the pizzle, the dizzle and the shizzle, G's to the bizzack now ladies here we gizzo". Though he did once say that he'd open an ice cream shop upon retirement and rename himself Scoop Dogg, so who am I to argue?
 
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English MA Graduate, passionate about film, Sunderland A.F.C., tv and music with guitars found somewhere in it.