To those of you for whom visiting London is still an exciting novelty, and not a soul-crushing chore, this is not a 16-year-old episode of Friends. Were glad that youre happy, but for those of us that are here every day, its lame and kind of weird when you announce your visit this way. Its like your only point of reference for your own Capital city is from a 90s American sitcom. Friends is great, we all agree on that, but seriously, just stop it. And no one cares if youre going to The Big Smoke, or that the traffic or tubes were horrendous in London taaaahn today. Theyre horrendous every day.
Created in a petri dish in an underground lab, I was originally designed by scientists to carry out high-profile assassinations for the CIA. Unfortunately, something went wrong and my only skill was writing list-based articles. So now I do that instead.