7. People Parroting Your Accent
tumblrFor such a cosmopolitan city, with people from all around the world co-existing in some form of mutual disdain for each other, people in London seem to be very amused by northern accents. Let on where you're from and someone will eventually make a hackneyed attempt at mimicking your homely tongue. Let's get this straight, no one in Newcastle says "why aye man" any more and it's a rare thing for a Yorkshireman to actually say "ey up, duck." In fact, these stereotypical catchphrases only ever appear to be said in London.
6. Deciphering Rhyming Slang
Columbia Pictures"Apples and pears", "dog and bone", "pony and trap", seriously, why is this a thing? A sub-language based all around the east end of London substituting common English words with rhyming phrases, rhyming slang befuddles anyone outside of London and northerners especially. We just can't seem to work out why it's necessary and what the purpose of it is, especially when in some cases the rhymes are actually longer than the word they're replacing ("dog and bone" instead of "phone" for example). Asking a northerner if you fancy going out for a few Britneys ("Britney Spears" - beers) on a night time just sounds entirely wrong to us.
5. No Peace And Quiet... Anywhere
tumblrThey call New York the city that never sleeps, but in truth, London just doesn't want to shut the hell up at any point of the day. In the north, unless it's a match day, people eventually go to sleep and the world becomes quiet, but no matter where you are in London (including the suburbs), there is noise, there are sirens and if you're really lucky, a couple of indeterminate origin will decide to have a blazing argument at 2am on a Tuesday outside your hotel/flat window. Of course. asking them politely to shut up and sod off will just direct their ire towards you, so you might as well learn to survive without sleep. Maybe that would explain why there are so many coffee shops in London...
4. Americans
Fremantle MediaThis is possibly one of the most confusing aspects of London for a northerner, the sheer amount of Americans that inhabit London. While we expect to walk out into a sea of cockneys with their jellied eels and pearly kings, instead we come out of King's Cross and there are Americans everywhere. They're wishing you a nice day in a Starbucks, taking you on walking tours of the sights and even occupying some of the most important office buildings in the city, it's downright puzzling, nearly on the same level as the tube map.