15 Problems Only People Who Can't Drive Understand

4. Alcoholism By Proxy

If you come with a designated driver all the time, there are certain expectations that you should be that person's designated drunk. Just as darkness needs light to be defined, and Batman needs the Joker, the sober driver at every party needs a reason to take their car. You might not even be the real reason, but you're damn sure going to be blamed, and the only suitable solution is to get so blind drunk that their sobriety is validated, and then it's just the slow march towards liver failure and an early grave.

3. NEVER Being Able To Criticise Your Chauffeur

It doesn't matter how aware you are of the mechanics of driving, or the scientific processes behind the combustion engine, nor how many hours you've logged on Mario Kart, there is no way you can ever question or criticise the driving ability of someone with a licence as they ferry you to your destination, because you don't have the credentials. Even if they've literally just driven into a tree, and you're upside down and on fire in a field, you can't so much as breath the suggestion that perhaps a different approach to driving might have been more suitable, because the government haven't given you the holy grail of a driving licence. Which sort of misses the point that you don't have to know how to cook a fillet steak to know when it tastes like old boots.