15 Things British People Say Vs What We Actually Mean

Stiff upper lip and all that, chaps.

"When I go back to Georgia, people tell me I'm too British now. They say I'm sarcastic all the time, I defend positions I don't even hold and I mess with people intellectually just, because..." - Reginald D Hunter
It's fair to say that as a nation, the British have a unique relationship with each other. We seem to get off on passive insults and self-deprecation. We insult our friends and sweet-talk our enemies. We say exactly what we don't mean as a way of stressing what we actually want people to think and are then offended when those same people take things too literally. In the eyes of a Brit, sarcasm is not the lowest form of wit, but a celebrated form of persiflage that identifies both a person's intellect and sense of humour. We love to challenge people in the way we speak thus creating a deluge of double entendres to navigate and understand. Conversation is a social minefield where asking someone for a cup of tea could mean a hundred different things (with at least ninety of them not even involving our beloved national beverage). In this article we've drawn together a few of our own encounters with this complex way of communicating but, by its very nature, we've likely misinterpreted the whole thing.

15. "Do You Want A Hand With That?" - You're Doing It All Wrong

Delegation can be difficult. Especially when you must watch on in horror to see a task you deemed simple enough to release from your over-controlling clutches, carried out completely differently to how you would have liked. You've realised the error in your ways and must ever-so-politely redeem the situation without appearing like an insufferable narcissist. To use a cliche, if you want something doing, do it yourself.
Contributor
Contributor

Aspiring screenwriter. Avid Gooner. Saving the rest of the self-descriptive stuff for the autobiography.