15 Things Only People From Bedford Will Understand

The 157,479 who live there - this one's for you.

What springs to mind when you think of Bedford? Getting a Wimpy at Aspects Leisure Park? Exploring The Cecil Higgins Museum? Enjoying a 99 ice cream (when they still cost 99p) down at the Embankment? Or perhaps nothing at all? Bedford is the county town of Bedfordshire, and it€™s known for being the birthplace to comedian Ronnie Barker, television personality Carol Vorederman, and Olympic gold medallist Tim Foster. Oh, and apparently we €˜do a thing€™ called a Bedford Clanger, which is a suet crust-dumpling with a savoury filling at one end and a sweet filling at the other €“ kind of like an old school pastry version of Willy Wonka€™s Three Course Dinner Chewing Gum. Bedford might not be big, and it might not be paradise €“ but for many of us (157,479 to be exact), it's home. And just because you don€™t know the actual name of The Dinky Doughnut Lady who mans her doughnut trailer in the town centre with the maternal-like protectiveness of a tiger doesn€™t make this familiar town any less appealing to all those who dwell here. To those of you who have never experienced the exciting threat of the River Ouse flooding, or known the true horror of shopping at Riverfield Drive Tesco on a Saturday morning, or spent most of your early teenage years begging your mum to take you to Kempston Retail Park because the shops in town just don€™t have anything: you€™ll never understand.

15. The True Greatness Of The Spider Web At Bedford Park

So obviously there were quite a few rumours about all the kids that died falling off the play park apparatus that was the Spiders Web €“ but did that ever stop you attempting to climb to the top? No, it sure didn€™t. So what if the pole wobbled dangerously the closer you got to the top? Who cares if the ropes got further and further apart the nearer you got to death-defying heights? What of it if some stupid kid started jumping up and down on the bottom ropes as soon as you made it to the tantalisingly thin top ropes? You were ten and you were invincible, and you laughed in the face of danger.
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I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).