Normal Porn For Normal People is the culmination of everything that makes internet-born urban legends great and, as such, is utterly horrifying and we can't in good faith recommend you read the whole thing. Except you absolutely should, because it's inspired in its awfulness, and because it's pretty long and NSFW, too. Not only does it bring in the old chestnut of the chain email but it also picks up on an aspect of internet usage that everybody has experienced at some point, and can't help but relate to: watching online porn. The story begins with the narrator being forward the message "Hi there, found this site is very nice thought u might like, normalpornfornormalpeople.com, pass it on, for the good of mankind." So far, so slightly strange? Yeah, it gets so much worse from here on out. So buckle up, we guess? In most circumstances we'd just toss such a link right in the trash, but the message - along with the site's tagline "A website dedicated to the eradication of abnormal sexuality" - are enough to keep our braver/more perverted hero interested. It turns out Normal Porn For Normal People is simply a long, complicated rant that's pretty much illegible, but every so often one of the words in the text turns out to be a link. These lead the storyteller to videos of people doing pretty normal, everyday things. A man makes a peanut butter sandwich and eats it. A dog gets fed. A repairman fixes a washing machine. A woman plays the violin. Which is also a fake-out, because the videos are secretly terrifying. In each of the aforementioned clips there are gross, terrifying and often violent sexual acts happening just out of the frame, glimpsed fleetingly or in reflective surfaces. And things get much weirder, more brain-twisting - and explicit - from there. We'll leave that one to your imagination, unless you're brave enough to read the whole thing. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
