18. Pearly Kings and Queens And Chelsea Pensioners
Frankly there is no explaining the Pearly Kings and Queens. They just are what they are, and that is an intrinsic part of London culture. Mind you they are becoming rarer and rarer these days and much more common is another London sight the Chelsea Pensioner. The major things that these two groups tend to have in common is that they are of an older persuasion, travel in packs and dont normally move out of the areas that they can be commonly seen in. But at least we can understand what is going on with a Chelsea Pensioner, being that they reside at the Chelsea Royal Hospital the same cant be said for a Pearly King. Especially when they whip out a pair of spoons.
17. Everything Important To Ever Happen In The UK Has Occurred In London
This is the opinion of the average Londoner. Especially since the Olympics in fact, most of them are slightly bemused at Glasgow hosting the Commonwealth Games. Why on Earth are they holding it there? Just do it in Stratford already. The UK is excessively weighted in favour of London, with the Government, major banks and businesses all set up there plus the West End, Covent Garden and the Queen (for most of the time). Theres no problem with seeing international football and any concerts (although a typical Londoner will begrudge that Glastonbury means leaving the capital). Really the only thing that the rest of the country is good for is that its somewhere nice to visit on the weekends.
16. Anything North Of Watford Counts As The North
Linked to the previous entry, a Londoner tends to have a very disjointed view of what the rest of the country looks like. Sure theyve seen it on a map, but on practical terms, Watford is about as far north as theyre willing to go until rather recently, Watford wasnt even in a numbered tube zone. They consider Rickmansworth to be in the countryside despite it having a Tube station. Also the Watford Gap motorway service station tends to have a very special place in most native Londoners hearts because although its nowhere near Watford, passing it is a sign that youve really gone into the northern wilderness. They really ought to erect a sign that reads There Be Monsters Here! because a passing Londoner would probably believe it.
Frankly there is no explaining the Pearly Kings and Queens. They just are what they are, and that is an intrinsic part of London culture. Mind you they are becoming rarer and rarer these days and much more common is another London sight the Chelsea Pensioner. The major things that these two groups tend to have in common is that they are of an older persuasion, travel in packs and dont normally move out of the areas that they can be commonly seen in. But at least we can understand what is going on with a Chelsea Pensioner, being that they reside at the Chelsea Royal Hospital the same cant be said for a Pearly King. Especially when they whip out a pair of spoons. 
