21 Humans Who Will Make You Want To Leave This Planet
This is why aliens won't talk to us.
BBCEvolution: somewhere down the line, something went horribly wrong. It's difficult to work out whether people were actually always this dumb, or whether we just see more stupidity thanks to social media now. Whatever the answer, we still live on the same planet as these people, and they still share our DNA. If Photoshop could change people in real life, we'd definitely be over-using the 'Convert To Smart Object' option to target the idiot epidemic that appears to be smothering our globe. Since it's pretty much humanely impossible to sterilise the world of dumb people, and natural selection doesn't seem to be working in the favour of humans right now; the only thing we can really do is make light of these people. What follows is a menagerie of humans that will make you laugh, cry, rage and potentially cause furious nose bleeds; so for that, we apologise in advance. We can only pray these morons are trolls... for the sake of humanity. 21. This Man Who Had Sex With A Greggs Pasty
imgur.comLooking exactly the kind of guy who would masturbate with a Chicken Bake; Howard Russell from Cheshire took his pastry treat home before heating it in the microwave and... well, we won't go into the rest. Needless to say the creamy chicken filling was the temperature of burning lava and left him with blistering scars from the hot date. Howard told the Sunday Sport, I have been into Greggs many, many times and never have I seen a sign warning you not to put your penis into one of their products especially after it has been reheated. That, to me, is a clear case of negligence and I intend to sue. I ran my helmet under cold water straight away but Im still in agony and can barely walk. Its covered in blisters. I may never be able to have sex with a pasty again. What a tragedy. 20. The Woman Who Named Her Child 'Hashtag'
imgur.comThe above status was followed with a friend's comment of 'Awww babes you finally had your Tweetybird xxx' - which basically made us facepalm so hard the result was self-decapitation.
You'll never believe it, but this isn't the worst culprit for stupidly 'original' baby names: there's a baby that was cruelly named "Like" (after the Facebook button), and one Egyptian man took it the full hog and straight-up named his newborn "Facebook".
#yourparentshateyou springs to mind...
19. These Two Girls Who Dressed As The Twin Towers For Halloween... And Won
The SunFaith in humanity; completely deprecated on from the mightiest of heights.