1. You Will Be Poorer After Uni Than You Were At Uni
This is perhaps the hardest pill to swallow. It all feels so unfair after so much stress, hard work and constant effort. The poverty you endured is nothing. The destitution you lived in is nothing. Even with your now regular earnings, you will be comparably poorer than you were when you had a nice dollop of loan to tide you over every three months. The real monster of graduation is that it is a slow, difficult struggle. It is a step by step fight to get out of poverty. You are the modern Sisyphus, endlessly rolling the boulder up the mountain just to watch it fall again each night. Endlessly working to pull in just enough money to survive, seeing it sweep away again as everyone you've ever met takes their cut. But honestly, it does get better. You find a husband or a wife, get a better job, car insurance gets cheaper. Eventually you'll be making enough money to take a little holiday, or maybe pop out a sprog if you're so inclined. In the end, uh, life finds a way.
If there is anything we've missed on this exhaustive list, any excruciating detail you want us to correct or if you just fancy telling us we're conceited for being employed to write about unemployment as a job, please let us know in the comments section. Please. Go on. Your tears fuel our website. Mwhaha. Ha. Cough. Ha.