23 Problems Every Stoner Has Been Through

Can't we all just get abong?

Herb is the healing of a nation. A great man said that. Like all blissfully pleasant things in life, the high times come with hurdles, and the occasional bad trip. If you've ever watched 'The Brave Little Toaster' after smoking a J, you'll know exactly what we're talking about. It's enough to melt minds sober, never mind spaced... but that's only a tiny problem on the grand scale of things. Stoner stigma is most highly resented by the majority of marijuana smokers. Where alcohol is relentlessly promoted through every media form possible (a poison which causes 88 thousand deaths a year in the US alone), a god damn PLANT is still demonised. Let's not forget the very legal pharmaceuticals sold by medical professionals: there are 41 thousand drug overdose deaths in the United States a year, and over half of these are related to prescription drugs. How many people die a year as a direct result of smoking weed? Zero. Nilch. Not one single person. It's no secret that every aspect of our daily lives could benefit from the use of hemp if it were largely legalised. Still, cannabis retains it's status as a banned drug, so smokers of the herb continue to face threats of legal sanctions in most countries around the world. Which, quite frankly sucks. But, we shan't dwell. Biggest stoner problem aside, let's move on to the more amusing trials and tribulations of a life with Mary Jane.

23. Every Car Is A Police Car

Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't a bunch of cops waiting in KFC's car park ready to force your face into the pavement and arrest your ass right there.

22. Talking To Someone High And Being Unable To Decide On A Normal Blinking Rate

Are they blinking and speaking right? Am I speaking and blinking right? Woh.

21. When A "Little" Wake And Bake Turns Into This

Ready to start the day!
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Human woman. Content Manager at What Culture. Lover of many "ologies", punk rock and cats. My god is Ilúvatar. Follow me on Twitter: @nina_cresswell