21. When An Editor Asks You To Cover A Story You Know Zero About
"Can you do me 250 words on the correlation between people who use unleaded petrol and their ability to perform long multiplication?" "Yeah, sure!" *stares at blank document, weeps single tear*
20. Trying To Remain Professional Reading Troll Comments
Trolling is an art form. A troll leaving a righteous, bigoted comment might have a point - they might feel strongly about the subject at hand, but mostly, they won't. Mostly, they're just being a d*ck. And when you write a story that's completely fair and unbiased, that's all the more reason for people to hate it. The first time you receive hate mail, it tears at your heart a little. The second time you receive hate mail, you're still a tad miffed. The third time...well... haters gonna hate.
19. When You're Told To Condense Your Word Count
Time to slash all those wonderful clauses of information your sweat and blood went into moulding. It's like doing cocaine - just one more line man, please, one more line.
18. "Can You Email Us Your Questions?"
Does nobody know how to use a phone anymore? It appears the population's sense of urgency is very different from our own. That, or they're all just afraid to communicate with the alien race know as the "Journalists". Whatever the reason - when a source keeps dodging interviews, those placid telephone manners of yours suddenly turn violently Hulkish the moment the call ends.
