3. Acoustic Kitty
Let's move forward a couple of decades. It's the swinging 60's. Elvis rules the charts, leather jackets rule the high schools, and The Cold War rules the headlines. American and Russian relations deteriorated quickly after World War 2, what with their differing viewpoints on how to live their lives. Instead of agreeing to disagree, these two superpowers decided to constantly spy on each other, and the threat of human extinction was a very real one. So what did the USA do to get their information from the Kremlin? They used cats. Cats wearing microphones. The Insanity Not having learned their lesson from Bat Bombs, the United States decided once again to use animals in warfare. The idea this time was to implant a microphone and a battery inside the cat, and place an antenna in it's tail. These deranged men in white coats decided that, yes, this could only be a good thing. Our feline pals would spy on various Soviet embassies and finally neutralise the threat. Cats would then be officially upgraded to man's new best friend, and our new cat overlords would be welcome in every home and be on every flag. The first snag was the fact that cat's get hungry and are prone to run off to find food. The scientists presumably slapped themselves on the head and went back to the drawing board. After making sure that the cat would be well fed before being deployed, they decided that the first mission was ready to go. The plan was for the cat to spy on two Russian gentleman outside the Soviet compound in Washington and come back a hero. I imagine then that three men in lab coats drove their cat to the other side of the road, and hid in some bushes. They fed it, negating the hunger issue and gave it a little stroke behind the ear for good luck. The cat purred in affection and the gentlemen in question beamed at it, convinced of their brilliance. They then set the cat loose and would wait for it to return. The cat then proceeded to do what all cats have done since the dawn of time. It immediately got leveled by a taxi. The gentlemen can only have looked on open-mouthed at the remains of Spy Cat now spread all over the road, whilst the Russians looked over and wondered why that cat carcass had a microphone inside it. They then probably saw the men over the road, put two and two together and how they laughed. Needless to say, the project was abandoned, not after costing a cool $20 million. Painful. Not as much pain as Spy Cat probably felt, but still. Ouch.