5 Stages I Went Through After A Terminal Diagnosis
4. Anger. Rage Against The Machine Et Al.
I was put on Prednisone for a year and a half. It's an anti-inflammatory drug, which most people will take at some point and many will suffer the vile effects it likes to visit upon the patient; weakness, fatigue, "moon face" and terrible, terrible anger.
Prednisone was to help with my flares caused by my Crohn's - a disease once the height of my ill-health, driving my daily choices from food intake to trips outdoors, now taking a back seat to colon cancer. It's still feisty though and pesters me from the rear of life's automobile with "Are we there yet?" in a whiny tone of voice.
So due to my diagnosis and amplified by the prednisone I was rabid with rage. Violent, brutally angry all the time and resentful of people living their normal lives. Don't they realise what they have? How easy they have it?
Envious of everyone else's remaining time, my anger would fester within, bubbling to the surface unnecessarily, unexpectedly and with horrendous venom. I hated everyone. Why me, why not that child molester or murderer... or that nun collecting for the Red Cross? Or that innocent baby.
Yes. Anger was prevalent and randomly fired up from Hadean origins without prejudice. I was not fun to be around.
It probably cost me my marriage.