I was a bit of a late bloomer, in that it wasn't until the latter part of my twenties that I actually managed to get my own place with a housemate. While I understood the financial and sanitary responsibilities of living in my own home, I also relished the freedom to host some pretty incredible parties. And host we did. There was nothing like throwing caution to the wind and giving debauchery a new vomit stain to clean up. We did it because we knew we could, but we also knew we were responsible adults who had the financial backing to be able to do it. Now the thought of having a wild house party almost bores me. The preparation, the expense, the neighbours and the clean up. Oh god, the clean up! A little bit of advice if I may offer it up: If you have to scrape dry, green, luminous I-Don't-Know-What off your ceiling the following day, I'd think about reeling in the frequency and intense nature of your parties. Clubbing went the same way for me. A decade ago, I could think of no better way to spend a Friday or Saturday night than in my favourite metal club. There I was, showing off my headbanging skills to women I fancied, downing beers like I'd left my gag reflex on the mantelpiece at home. Kebabs, taxis and all that jazz, and best of all, no hangovers. My how times have changed. I don't think I'm alone in this. After years of late nights, it finally loses its appeal. I admit that this revelation started to occur a few years before I turned thirty. I remember the exact moment in fact. While sat in my local, a young lad (around seventeen) sat opposite me and engaged me in the following conversation: "If I was drinking , guess how quickly I'd be able to down that?" I look at my pint, then look at him and reply: "I...I actually don't care." I wasn't being rude or dismissive. I'd had a sudden epiphany that made me realise I was getting older: I was no longer interested in drinking like it was a competitive sport. Much like following trends, I would rather drink at my own pace and indulge as much or little as I choose. A heavy drinker I may be, but I don't find it impressive when someone boasts how many shots they downed or how much they were still standing after so many pints. I've been there and I've done it. I enjoy nights out on occasion, but I'm no longer a slave to my youthful mind's desire to stay awake until the apocalypse.
