7 'Cures' For Baldness You Won't Believe

1. Bull Semen

French Fries Balding
Pixabay

Many of these treatments may seem like a load of old bull. This one literally is.

If draining the delicates of an unsuspecting heifer hasn't done the trick, why not try troubling the testicles of its male counterpart? After all, they're legendarily easy-going. Just be sure not to wear red gloves (but please do remember to wear some gloves.)

One good answer to the above question is that pleasuring a mancow probably won't do anything for your departing parting. Though bull milk is absolutely packed with protein, it's far too dense to be of any particular use in exciting keratin production. It'd need to undergo hydrolysis to be of any use, and given the ordeal obtaining it, perhaps it's just not worth the effort.

It really makes you wonder: is there any point in wanking off a bull? Besides fun, obviously.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.