7 Things You Think About When A Stranger Asks You Out At Starbucks

3. You Text Anybody You Think Will Care

He's in the bathroom so you analyse every single one of his possessions. His wheel-ey case- is he going on holiday?-, his laptop, perhaps he's a writer too, it is a Macbook after all, his scarf- tartan. You start composing an IM to your mum, brother, best gal pal and best gay pal. "In Starbs VxHall. Cute guy sat opposite. Lot's of glancing. Deffo into me. What to do?!??!?!?1?!?!!!!1111 x" The replies are immediate and are exactly what you expected: Mum: "Be safe. He might be a rapist luv u xx" - obviously. Brother: "Get in there lad. But what happened to Jake? Thort U 2 were 4eva :P :P" - not spoken in three weeks, does he not know Jake was a total asshole?? Best Gal Pal: "Omg babes. Just ask for his number. Nothing to lose!! Is he cute? Get a sneaky pic ily xxxx" Definitely expected response. She's probably in bed with her ex-boyfriend dreaming of double dates too. Best Gay Pal: "HOW BIG IS HIS DICK?? Did you follow him to the bathroom?? Make sure it's not that freak Aaron he cheated on Michael and he's always in that Starbs u know that xo." You reply reminding him that this is a group chat with your mum. Best Gay Pal: "Sorry Jane xxx"