8 Things Everyone Gets Wrong About 'Scary' Chemicals

2. Acids Are Really Bad, But Alkalis Are Great!

Orange Vitamin C
20th Century Fox

‘Alkaline water’ is the very latest in diet fads. Alkaline is, apparently, far better for you than acid – although no one seems to be very clear why. There’s even a video doing the rounds where a woman adds pH indicator to samples of water and describes the ones that come up as acidic as “trash”. It appears to be part of the whole ‘alkaline diet’ movement, which categorises foods as ‘alkaline’ and ‘acidic’, often in direct contradiction to their actual nature – lemons, for example, are invariably ‘alkaline’, despite being stuffed full of citric acid.

As anyone who’s ever watched ‘that’ scene in the movie Fight Club will tell you, alkalis are anything but innocuous. Acids can irritate and even burn your skin, sure, but alkalis can often do more damage with less chemical. Strong alkalis, such as sodium hydroxide, are used in oven and drain cleaners because they’re great at dissolving fats and proteins, but unfortunately that means they’re also quite good at dissolving you. Which is why you really should wear gloves.

There’s nothing particularly healthy about alkalis, even the weaker ones such as sodium bicarbonate, and spending your money on alkaline water is particularly pointless – as soon as it hits the air carbon dioxide will dissolve in it and turn it acidic anyway (for this reason the test in that video clip is even sillier than it might first appear). Even if you drink that overpriced alkaline water super-quickly, your stomach acid will make short work of it.

Besides, couple of antacids would probably be a lot cheaper.

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Kat Day is a science blogger, writer and teacher living in Oxfordshire in the U.K. Her award-winning blog is called The Chronicle Flask, and she has also written articles for Sense About Science, Things We Don't Know and Nature Chemistry. When she's not writing or teaching she is usually trying to keep on top of important parenting skills such as negotiation, conflict resolution and always having the right coloured cup.