8 Ways To Tell The Perfect Lie

4. Tangents And Parallels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z4M-vE3-BM Last night, my 12 year old brother came home, late, from school. When challenged as to where he had been, he spent 3 minutes waiting until he could get both parents into the same room, before unloading some contrived yarn about him and his friend putting out a fire that some other kids had lit, in the local park. He claimed it took a long time because they needed to find a bottle of water- separately, the bottle and then the water to fill it with. Now, aside from the fact that one small bottle of water would be extremely ineffectual at putting out a genuine fire and that he conveniently forgot he carries a bottle of water in his own rucksack, the problem with this lie was in its execution. It was too complete; told too smoothly. He assigned WAY too much ceremony in its telling. Going back to the previous point, the biggest problem a lie has in imitating the truth is in its design. The truth, usually, follows no design. Compare it to trying to tell a humerous story from a night out to your friends the following day. How often to we stand there, bemused at the exasperation of our friend telling this hilarious story that doesn't seem to be remotely funny at all? It's because they tell the punchline and exclude the build-up. It's why "I guess you had to be there". What it is, is an example of telling the truth. Incomplete. An abstract version of the events, missing vital explanation. When we then get the inquisitive glances, we are forced to go back and relate something that happened earlier, we forgot to mention. Compare this to lies. Designed. Constructed. Succinct. Events told perfectly from A-Z, missing no detail. In the eye of the liar- albeit a poor one, like my brother- this is necessary. You need to cover all your bases, right? Leave no questions unanswered, right? Wrong. If your friend comes to you tonight, tomorrow or next year and tells you a story, from which you need to ask no questions, clarify no details... you can be assured it's a lie. Or at least an embellished truth. The truth travels in tangents, not in two straight, parallel lines.