6. You're With Your Parents
If you're anything like me, when talking to certain friends on the phone you become an entirely different person. It's unavoidable and very strange. An accent may emerge, you swear profusely, you act ferociously gay with your straight mate, or you quote 'Human Traffic' nice one, bruv! I said nice one! You certainly wouldn't want your parents to hear you talking in such a manner. It's a fact of life you're one person with your friends, another with your family. So when 'Paedo Dan' flashes on your screen, you're going to need to go somewhere private to have a conversation with him, because he's a f**king lunatic, and your parents would not appreciate yours and his sense of humour. But sometimes that option is taken out of your control. You're somewhere with your family where you can't slink off to talk crudely and sadistically with Dan, so instead you have to adopt your sensible persona. You don't answer the phone by suggesting he calls someone who gives a sh*t and that he shoves his phone up his arse. No, you're polite and courteous, like a normal person. Which is no fun whatsoever.