Fifty Shades Of Grey: 21 Seduction Tips That Would Definitely Never Work

1. Don't Be Afraid Of Tampons

Menstruation and seduction go hand in hand. That's just common sense. Tampons are just like starter ropes for a lawnmower. Treat them as such. Pro Tip: Seductively throwing anything into a nearby toilet will really get the mood going.
"When did you start your period, Anastasia?" He asks out of the blue, gazing down at me. "Err... Yesterday." I mumble in my highly aroused state. "Good." He releases me and turns me around. "Hold on to the sink." He orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom so I am bending down. He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what! And...gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.
What else could anyone ask for?
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Contributor

A science nerd (although I prefer the term "enthusiast") to the core. I love bones, blood and books. Bring me an IV filled with coffee and I'll bake you a delicious coconut cake. You can follow me on twitter @AlainaJudgesYou