5. Peter Crouch
Stephen Pond/EMPICS SportMemorably, the lanky streak of striker Peter Crouch responded frankly to the question "What would you be if you weren't a footballer?" with, simply, "a virgin". It's a classic one liner befitting of some of the game's dryest wits - George Best with a little more self-deprecation - but perhaps also the question could be "What would you be if you hadn't played for Liverpool?" with the answer...well, pretty much whatever Crouch is up to now. When he isn't busy doing the robot. The first few years of Crouch's career saw him pinballing between loan times whilst being signed for Spurs, getting sold to QPR, Portsmouth, Aston Villa and Southampton, only ending up on stable ground once he took a £7 million four year contract at Anfield. Despite stunning reach and ball control Crouch's first goal for his new team eluded him for a while, becoming something of a running joke in the press. Once he started, though, you couldn't stop him, eventually racking up 22 goals in eighty-some matches, including one in an FA Cup tie against Man United that secured our first win over them in the competition since World War II. Despite finally proving his worth and notching up some further accolades, including a so-called "perfect" hat trick (scoring with his right foot, left foot and head) against Arsenal in the league and becoming Liverpool's top goalscorer in all competitions during the 200607 season, Crouch decided to scarper back to Southampton, and has since settled back into the pinball groove with moves since to Spurs and Stoke where he has played fine, and nothing more.