A player doesn't simply sulk away at his mid-table club, praying each night that the glittering top four beauties will step in and make a posterboy of him. Instead, he issues a 'come and get me plea', which can take many forms. The most obvious is the slip during a press conference when, having been asked if he'd like to sign for a bigger club, the young starlet blushes and admits that he's "always admired Arsenal's style of play. But no, I'm quite happy slumming it on £40,000 a week at Sunderland. No, really." Let's just sack off the cloak and dagger and accept that the cream rises to the top. Except, of course, when it sits on the bench at Manchester City before returning to a mid-table club having not kicked a ball for three years.
