8 Fictional Characters Who Should Definitely Get The England Manager's Job

Baker Street’s finest detective has had some tricky cases to solve in his time, but none quite as mentally-taxing as knowing where to play Wayne Rooney. That said, Sherlock Holmes has brought a thorough, tactical style of play to England’s football, leaving no stone unturned when it comes to investigating his opponent’s style of play.

With assistant coach John Watson always faithfully at his side (Watson runs a very popular blog on the FA website that chronicles the preparation and work behind each game), the high-functioning sociopath has utilised exciting counter-attacking football, often playing a wild game of cat and mouse with the opposing team before pouncing on them when they least expect it.

After some initial teething problems in the role (using his homeless network to scout footballers who live in million-pound mansions left a lot to be desired) and a fair bit of mockery (images of him frantically entering his ‘mind palace’ during penalty shoot-outs have gone viral), Holmes has managed to turn England’s fortunes around and their repeated victories more than justify his appointment. After all, “Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side”, and let’s just say that Holmes never longs after the World Cup win of 1966.

Whether you love him or you hate him, he doesn't care. His reputation as a loner is legendary and he largely works by himself, much to the chagrin of his team and the FA. But whatever he's doing seems to be working, and the method behind his madness is probably something that only he'll ever understand - even if many suspect it'll one day be his undoing.

Sherlock Holmes might not be a conventional England manager, but his desire to solve the puzzle behind winning a game of football is, shall we say, elementary.