The arrival of former Man United first team coach Rene Meulensteen alongside Martin Jol in the Fulham dugout has thrown the incumbent Fulham manager's future into question. Frankly, we're not surprised. Languishing in 18th position, the Cottagers have lost their last three in a manner best-described as spineless. Presumably, the owner of the North London side (and the Premier League's best moustache) Shahid Khan has seen enough, or rather not enough, over the last few weeks and has decided to act now before it's too late. With a forward line consisting of Dimitar "The Artist" Berbatov, Darren "I'm Still The Best Centre-forward In England, Honest" Bent and Bryan Ruiz, Fulham have scored a meagre 4 goals at home in the league. You have to feel for their fans. Based on ticket prices alone, they're forking out around £25 per goal! "What lies ahead for the bald-eaglesque dutchman!?" I hear you roar. Well since you asked... His options are four-fold. 1) Jol remains at Fulham with, they finish between 14th-17th for the next eternity. 2) Bond 24 is released in Oct 2015. I can't think of a better Bond villain (that's not true). He definitely has the making of a contemporary Ernst Stavro Blofeld, or Ernie B to his mates. Whilst generally an affable sort, post-match interviews when his voice is lowers a few octaves become a rather tense experience. This would only be amplified on the big screen. 3) Teach English to current Derby manager, Shteve McLaren. 4) Jump before being pushed. Retire from coaching. Martin, you're a great guy. I mean that. Please dont hurt me. Unlike many of your counterparts, you actually have a personality. Do more punditry, for the love of god please take some air-time off Sky's literally most- favourite literally illiterate presenter, Jamie Redknapp. Impressively, for a guy who hasn't won a trophy after 5 years in England, you still retain your dignity, our respect/ever-lasting fear.
Out of touch, out of date and out of work. With no other discernible skills of any real use to society, I thought I'd give this a bash. My main focuses are food, music, sport and anything remotely related to ISS Pro 98. I spend half of my life listening to records and the other half wondering whether it'd be possible to become John Cooper Clarke's mate. He, alongside Stephen Fry and Countdown's Rachel Riley, should run the country.
