Premier League 2017/18: Every Home Kit Ranked

15. Manchester United

PL Feature Copy
Adidas/Manchester United FC

Firstly, no, that dashing young chap sporting Man Utd's jersey isn't a new signing who sneaked under the Confederations Cup-scrambled radar, but a model. He has mandatory aloofness down to a tee (shirt).

The Red Devils' new attire is a complex array of ideas, gestalt aesthetic harmony eschewed in favour of the "more is more" principle. The stripes stop suddenly, the collar boasts not one but two pointless buttons, and the duo-tone cuffs have gone stridently zebra.

As with the past three United kits, the hideous Chevrolet logo overshadows any merit the shirt may have otherwise possessed. Which probably explains why Adidas' designers have barely bothered making a cohesive garment this year.

Like a true Mourinho team, it's ugly and somewhat disjointed.

Betting Firm Count: 3

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.