10 Things You Need To Know About Twin Peaks: The Return

The scant promotional material released thus far indicates that we are far removed from the kitsch Kansas of the quirky, amber-hued original series - but confectionary is as fundamental to the world of Twin Peaks as deductive technique and deranged manifestations of the spirit realm. To immerse yourself completely into it - and to fill those agonising daylight Sunday hours - what follows is an idiot-proof recipe for trademark cherry pie so simplistic Deputy Andy Brennan could follow it.

Ingredients:

600g Fresh or Frozen Dark Sweet Cherries; 2 Rolls of Store Bought Shortcrust Pastry; 1 Teaspoon Almond Extract; 300g Caster Sugar; 4 Tablespoons Cornflour; Butter, For Greasing; 1 Egg and Splash Of Milk, For Washing.

Method:

Grease and line a 25x30CM pie tin with the butter and use one roll of pastry to form your bottom crust. Make sure the crust covers and almost spills over the sides of the tin. If you're using frozen cherries, defrost them beforehand; this should take an hour, max, and what is lost in flavour is compensated for in convenience. The excess juice is needed to mix the filling. Using fresh cherries takes a wee while longer to release them, and they aren't in season in large swathes of the world.

Gently heat the defrosted frozen or fresh cherries, and only add the almond extract, cornflour and sugar when the juices separate. Mix everything together and continue to simmer for ten minutes or so. Pour the filling mixture onto the bottom crust. Then, use the second roll to cover the filling. Ensure it is covered tightly enough to seal it. Wash with the beaten egg mixture and sprinkle liberally with sugar.

You'll need to cut into the top crust prior to baking to ensure that the bottom crust cooks through. For the sake of authenticity and simplicity, carve out the Owl Cave Ring symbol - the Black Lodge chevron pattern is for the advanced baker only - and bake for 25 minutes or so at 180C. It might need longer; oven temperatures vary.