12 HUGE WWE SummerSlam Predictions You Need To Know
LONG Hot Summer.
Looking ahead to this year's 'Biggest Party Of The Summer', it's far too easy to lament on what the show doesn't have, rather than champion what it does.
It doesn't have a screaming introduction from Vince McMahon punishing his vocal chords to wail about the summer's heat, presumably generated from his proximity to the devil himself. It doesn't have the year's second biggest singles match between the company's top post-WrestleMania stars. It doesn't even have the massive Bayley/Sasha Banks NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn redux.
What it does have, is matches. Bloody loads of them. With an ungodly amount of WWE Network hours to fill, the company will, of their own doing, present their very definition of their feature length summer blockbuster.
Like many of the cinematic turkeys cursed that moniker over the decades, much of it is likely to be meaningless, badly acted and favouring explosive stunts over nuanced storytelling. In keeping with recent directorial disasters, you'll want it to go at least half an hour less than it does. That said, virtually all your favourite stars have at least a cameo, and at least one loose thread may neatly be tied up before the credits roll.
'IT'S SUMMER TIME, AND THE LIVING IS ANYTHING BUT EASY' wailed McMahon as he opened up the 1991 edition of the show. He obviously knew about this card 26 years in advance.
12. Demonised
WWE didn't need to make it as abundantly clear as they did on Monday's Raw once Finn had washed off most of the barbecue sauce Bray Wyatt had dumped on him after their monotonous match, but 'The Demon's appearance was confirmed for Sunday, as the former Universal Champion returns to the exact arena where he simultaneously experienced his highest high and lowest low one year ago.
Their feud has been discouragingly dull because of course it has, but what makes the contest even more pointless here is the fact that Bray has for a change, done just about what he said he was going to do. He got his big match against the latest roster member he's bullied into boredom, and actually managed to score a win.
Literally not knowing when to stop (an infuriatingly regular occurrence for the character), his decision to tip the viscous acidic liquid bolognese over Bálor's head ensured one more pointless round would leave him flat on his back as per usual.
'The Demon' will be too much for 'The Eater Of Worlds', that much is clear. But perhaps the biggest loser is Finn himself, having gone from main eventing his first ever main roster pay-per-view to being stuck in a match that, by all rights, should be broken up by a Mountain Dew commercial.