5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Feb 16)
BASS! How low can you go?
WWE does not know how to book babyfaces.
Roman Reigns, infamously, once uttered the words "Sufferin' Succotash" on WWE TV. At TLC, Jason Jordan hucked vegetable produce at Elias. Which of those two men is massively over a few short months later? Perhaps Dennis The Menace, introduced to the American public in 1951, isn't the ideal template for a wrestling hero 67 years after the fact.
As Seth Rollins made an uneasy transition to the babyface role in 2016, the writers equipped him with a secret weapon: "Sparklecrotch!" This was their idea to get him over as another fun-lovin', wisecrackin' tyke. A smattering of chants followed, but the craze lasted all of 20 seconds. It was said to have popped Vince McMahon which, sadly, is all that matters. Once a Superstar becomes remotely popular in WWE, WWE does everything possible to render that Superstar massively unlikeable. AJ Styles refers to Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens as 'Kami', but he gets away with it because he is AJ Styles. You would pay him to crush your mother's calf.
What we have witnessed over the past decade and a half is the concept of 'Hulk Dust' burning to ashes - and WWE is already going the broad comedy route with Braun Strowman...
5. Brrrraaaaaaauuunnn
...and it was amazing!
On this week's Monday Night RAW, the Monster Among Men interrupted Elias' concert with an absolutely massive double bass. He then unleashed a quite beautiful singing voice, incorporating his catchphrases in such a way that it plastered a smile all over the face, as opposed to compelling you to burn Stephanie McMahon's Marketing For Beginners handbook. In one of two classic sight gags, the guitar strings got those hands. As a bit, it worked because it was as irreverent as it was inexplicable - and because it added shade to rather than detracted from the Braun character. We love Braun because he is a destructive force - so when the punchline manifested as a brutal-looking double bass shot to the back, the natural order was restored. It helped too that Strowman was so comfortable playing for laughs. His enthusiasm was infectious.
This set a dangerous precedent, admittedly - there's every chance that that's all folks, and Strowman becomes a complete maroon as of next week - but at this point at least, the Braun character is so bulletproof that he can do anything.
Here's hoping Chief Brand Officer of WWE is next.