7 Possible Tag Partners For Braun Strowman At WrestleMania 34

Strowman arguments.

Big Show Strowman
WWE

It's almost time for the Strow of Strows and poor Braun is still without a belle for the ball. WWE have made things perfectly plain: unless the Mountain of a Man can get those hands on a dance partner, he's barred from sparring with The Bar.

And we believe them. Well, to an extent.

The big man's already demonstrated he can play well with others thanks to his adorable pairing with Alexa Bliss on the Mixed Match Challenge, though all rational thought suggests it probably won't be the Raw women's champ adding her five feet of fury to Braun's colossal frame.

Sticking with that brand of logical thinking, the options aren't exactly plentiful. We know a few things for sure about Strowman's clandestine comrade: he'll be a man, um, a wrestler, and someone who isn't already occupied on the card.

Given WrestleMania 34's set to run for 400 hours, that rules out almost everybody on the current roster.

Except a few notable absentees. Whether 'injured', MIA, or otherwise rather tellingly omitted from the schedule, there are a few names which stand out as being likely candidates to go with the Strow. These lads, specifically.

7. Rey Mysterio

Big Show Strowman
WWE.com

It's a well-known truism of life that little 'n' large deliver results. Footballers Heskey and Owen. Jungle dwellers Timon and Pumba. 'Comedians' Little and Large. None of these pairings were anything to laugh at.

Same applies in the squared-circle, where the big man/little man routine isn't just interesting to behold, but a surefire road to success. Just look at Owen Hart & Yokozuna, one a sprightly Canadian speed demon, the other a sort of immovable pillow: two time tag champions. And what about Kane, who towered over all fifty or so of his partners yet raised just about all of them to lofty heights, with at least five of his tag-titles coming as a consequence mismatched sizes?

It's all about the one's strengths compensating for the other's weakness you see, or some such made-up b*llocks. All of which means Rey Mysterio would be absolutely ideal for big Braun.

Unfortunately, he's currently out with a torn biceps, and unless the severity of the damage has been exaggerated to mask a major WrestleMania moment, this one, like an obedient household pet, is off the table.

Strowmometer Reading: Strow chance in hell.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.