WWE Hell In A Cell 2019: 7 Results Predictions
Or: In Your Cell 1: Bray'ge in the Cage.
WWE's Hell in a Cell is tonight. F*cking tonight. On this, the most sacred week the wrestling industry has experienced in the best part of two decades.
What on earth does it think it's playing at? How can WWE possibly think it's at all appropriate to stage this event, the cigarette butt of an otherwise smoking seven days, to conclude matters?
Judging by the absolute paucity of the card, it's eminently possible they don't. In fact, it's eminently possible that even they forgot about it.
Now, it's utterly hypocritical to start complaining about a WWE pay-per-view that isn't 9000 matches deep, and lord knows after about a million billion hours of wrestling this week, even the most ardent aficionados of the ring require a little break. But just four matches announced on the day of the card? Come on. It sends a present and clear message that this isn't worth anyone's time.
Which is sort of ironic, because those four confirmed matches actually sound pretty bloody good. It's a shame, then, that they exist on what's effectively become a glorified In Your House. Do these mammoth TV deals mean Network specials are no longer relevant - or is it a one-off case of being scheduled into a corner? We'll find out come TLC. For now, here's what'll happen tonight.
7. An Ad Hoc Kickoff
It's established commercial practice by this point that every WWE Network pay-per-view has to have an ultimately inconsequential Kickoff show, even though the presentation often secrets a decent match or two. The block must be planned for Hell in a Cell, and presumably, other than for the purposes of farce, none of the meagre selection of matches announced will be shunted off the main card.
Which means some ad hoc features for what increasingly feels like an ad hoc show. The Cruiserweight Championship would normally be ripe for this, but that's been booted to NXT. What viable candidates does that leave us with? Let's play a game I like to call "who the f*ck knows roulette" and say, oh, who are the Raw tag team champions (looks it up)... Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler? Really? Bloody hell.