Were back to a One Man Band, The Funkasauras is extinct, and Teddy Long will now have to book impromptu tag matches from the privacy of his own home. This week WWE released 11 men and women from their contracts. Some werent all that surprising (JTG, Yoshi Tatsu), but there were quite a few that deserved better. After all, not even The Rock could have got over having to portray The Funkasauras character for two years, and having to team up with a fat man named Sweet T. While its unfortunate to see everyone lose their jobs from a real-life perspective, it is also going to bother me from a storyline perspective. Come Monday Night Raw, these wrestlers are just going to be gone! Not a single one of them actually got written out of the show. What other TV show has characters disappear for absolutely no reason? At least DLo Brown got thrown into the trunk of a car to explain his disappearance years ago. Batista at least got to quit on air recently. Heath Slater will probably show up sometime on Raw or SmackDown without his band mates as if nothing happened. Aksana will likely never be mentioned again, and Curt Hawkins will continue to not-exist within the WWE Universe. Just last week in this column, I wrote that 3MB should be fired due to their horrible (2-26) win loss record against Los Matadores. Now I kind of feel bad. However, it also wont stop me publicly stating that Hornswoggle, The Great Khali, Cameron, Kevin Dunn, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon should also be future endeavored due to their terrible win/loss records of entertaining me. I must use this power responsibly. Time to kick out!
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
