Nothing beats Halloween. The costumes, the scares, the candy. But every kid growing up had rules. Whether they were set by parents (you could only go on specific streets, to specific houses) or friends (“We’re throwing any knock-off suckers we get back in the faces of those who mock us.” – anxious seven year-old), you had some sort of code of conduct that complimented the evening.
Now, for your own safety, I’ve compiled a list of ten cinematic places you’d be better off steering clear of altogether. Make no mistake, the occupants of the home might invite you in, might promise you entire candy bars, or may just have a cute dog, but you should by no means take a step through their threshold.
Be safe this Halloween. Candy isn’t worth it.
…most candy isn’t worth it.
10. Monster House – Monster House
Trick-r-Treating is not a dignified ritual, let’s settle that right now. Having to dress up for an evening to be fed scraps by strangers sounds like something from an Eli Roth film, let alone a holiday tradition. So the least the world can do for you is not have a house try to eat you when you walk up to it. That’s common courtesy, isn’t it? Well, apparently, the Monster House didn’t get the memo, because like a Madea movie, it rather enjoys the taste of human despair.
So, when you’re checking off your list of places that could cause plausible harm to you, it might be best to steer clear of the house down the street that roars like a lion, actually moves, and is wanting to see how fast it can digest your head. I mean, that’s just rude, isn’t it?
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