Since it first drooled acidic excellence over the movie world in
1979, the Alien series has emerged as one of the most franchisable
science fiction properties out there.
With the release of Alien: Covenant,
the series now boasts eight feature films (including the
supposedly-not-Alien-but-obviously-is-Prometheus), a much-celebrated bonus
appearance in Predator 2 and a whole bunch of comic books, video games,
tabletop games and all sorts of other chestbursting, KY-dribbling goodness.
But here’s the thing:
Only the first 2 1/2 Alien movies are actually any good.
And because our mission in life is to destroy what you love, here are the reasons why...
10. Everyone Forgets How Aliens Actually Work
A defining feature of the xenomorph is its life cycle. It goes
Queen-egg-facehugger-slavering death machine-presumably a Queen at some
point-egg. The basics of this are established in Alien, including how
the facehugger makes special friends with John Hurt and his chest explodes a
day or two later.
Except the makers of everything after Alien3 forgets all
this. Specifically, the chestburster acquires miraculous rapid birthing powers
and starts erupting from poor idiots’ ribcages after about five minutes. It’s a
first indication among many that the makers of the later Alien movies may not
have actually watched the earlier ones.
Ben Counter is a fantasy and science fiction writer, gaming enthusiast, wrestling fan and miniature painting guru. He was raised on Warhammer, Star Wars and 1980s cartoons that, in retrospect, were't that good. Whoever you are, he is nerdier than you.