A while back, I wrote an article detailing my top ten best comic book castings of all time. Now I present its polar opposite, the ten worst castings in comic-book film history (listed from bad to worse).

I want to preface this list by saying that most of these casting choices are victims of bad film-making, and no amount of good acting could save their roles. There was one role I really wanted to put on this list, but I just couldn’t do it–Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. Most people hate him for the role, but few actors can pull of a good, cocky attitude and still be awesome like Reynolds, so he doesn’t make the ten worst for that role (though he does for another). Another notable exclusion is Ben Affleck as Daredevil. Many critics hate his casting, but I thought he worked out pretty well in the role. This article, however, is not about what I liked—it’s about what I dislike, so read away and let me know how much you agree/disagree with my picks. Enjoy!

Dishonorable Mention: Bryan Singer for leaving the third X-Men film

Bryan Singer is not an actor, and he wasn’t cast to play any comic book based roles, but he deserves to be on this list for successfully delivering a killer blow on two films at once. On one hand, his absence from the X-Men franchise in “X-Men: The Last Stand,” is a notable tragedy that ended with a train-wreck that should have been awesome. The third X-Men film had issues on every front, and I blame Bryan Singer, even though the studio could have picked up someone that could do a better job. The other film Singer ruined was Superman Returns, which, if it would have tried to be a film that could stand alone, might have succeeded. Instead, we get a film that parallels Richard Donner’s: “Superman: The Movie” and his “Superman II” so much that I wondered if it was an over-glorified late night comedy sketch. Hopefully Mr. Singer learned something here—don’t leave something awesome to try and copy something amazing. It just doesn’t work. For obliterating two awesome things, Mr. Singer, you get the Dishonorable Mention on this list.

10. Dennis Quaid As General Hawk in G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra


Dennis Quaid is a good actor, but he has this aura that screams: “Nice Guy.” The leader of an elite force of secret military rock-stars needs to be one intimidating dude. No amount of scowling can make Dennis Quaid exude that attitude, yet there he was. The most genuine moments of the film occurred when Quaid had the chance to smile, and then he was convincing, but he followed those moments by delivering lines in overtly comic-book fashion, which was nothing short of a giant ball of cheese. Fortunately for Quaid, he was not the only bad casting in “GI Joe: Rise of Cobra,” as all but three other characters were cast badly (Destro, The Baroness, and Snake Eyes were great castings).

Quaid hasn’t returned for G.I. Joe: Retaliation that opens in the summer.

Who They Should Have Cast: Harrison Ford

 

9. Samuel L. Jackson As Nick Fury in The Marvel Film Universe

The mis-castings of General Hawk and Nick Fury are quite similar. Where Hawk needs to be an intimidating military leader, Nick Fury’s character requires a rugged, grizzled look and attitude. With this character, villains should fear his major can of whoop-ass and still want to enjoy a nice brew at his side at the same time. What we have in the film-world is the classic cold and calculating Samuel L. Jackson we all know and loved and then got tired of.

In “Pulp Fiction,” Jackson was a cool, calm, Bible-quoting man that was likely to blow someone’s head off and still be their best friend. In “Star Wars,” his Mace Windu is pretty much the same thing, except with Jedi Code instead of the Bible. In “Iron Man 2,” Jackson plays Nick Fury, and has basically the same attitude as in his other roles. I just don’t sense the fury in Nick Fury from Jackson’s usual, but very successful, image. From what we’ve seen of “The Avengers” so far, it looks like he’ll be more of the same, so it looks like that’s the Nick Fury we get.

Who They Should Have Cast: David Hasselhoff might not fit the role in the slightest, but he certainly looked the part. If we could combine the Hoff’s looks with some gravitas, I think we would have the ideal Nick Fury.

 

8. Nicolas Cage As Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider

I’d like to start by saying that I think the studio went about “Ghost Rider” all wrong, but my alternative would have been far too costly. I think the studio should have made the film using motion capture technology, just like in “Beowulf.” Making a CG guy with a flaming skull is a hair ambitious, and I think the audience would have suspended their disbelief more readily had the entire world been digitally created.

That, however, is all water under the bridge, because the studio went live-action, and they cast Nicolas Cage to play Johnny Blaze. I’ll start by saying that Nicolas Cage has a ton of fun roles, and on the surface he appears to be a fairly decent choice to play a daredevil. When you get him in the role, he just doesn’t fit. Recently Cage has been taking roles that are more light-hearted in nature, and they seem to be more fun than anything, which is how he treated this role. Ghost Rider is not fun. In fact, Ghost Rider is a terrifying being that demands a serious-minded actor that doesn’t seem to deliver every line as though he is being “cool.”

Who They Should Have Cast:  Mark Wahlberg

 

7. Tommy Lee Jones As Two-Face in Batman Forever

Tommy Lee Jones could have been a great Two-Face. Just imagine a younger Jones in place of Aaron Eckhart (who was awesome) in “The Dark Knight.” Think about that for just a second. Now think about “Batman Forever,” and cringe, gasp in horror, and ask yourself: “What was Joel Schumacher thinking?” Yes, Schumacher ruined Two-Face and much more about the Batman franchise, but he hired a great actor in a butchered role, and made Jones look like a buffoon while doing it.

If Schumacher wanted a cackling, classic bank robber for Two-Face, why not bring on someone with a more slapstick style? Tommy Lee Jones is well known for his serious, dry sense of humor in films, yet he completely and unsuccessfully breaks that mold in “Batman Forever,” and the film world will forever be worse for it.

Who They Should Have Cast: Tommy Lee Jones, but used him correctly!

 

6. Ray Stevenson As Frank Castle in Punisher: War Zone

I’m probably one of the few that liked Thomas Jane as Frank Castle and wish he could have played the role in more sequels. But instead enter “Punisher: War Zone,” a film that is less-than-half of the first “Punisher,” and it features an actor that awesome when in his element.

In the HBO series: “Rome,” Ray Stevenson plays Titus Pullo, a Roman soldier that literally makes friends with people he is sent to assassinate. In “King Arthur,” his Dagonet was one of the more notable performances in a film that was largely a failure. Stevenson has acting chops, there is no doubt about that, but a revenge-bent warrior with an arsenal of explosives is a role that does not fit him.

Who They Should Have Cast: Thomas Jane… they had him and couldn’t keep him.

 

5. Ryan Reynolds As Hal Jordan in Green Lantern

Ryan Reynolds delivered a performance in “Green Lantern” that was likely the very best thing about a film that was literally bad on a cosmic scale. Just because Reynolds could squeeze out some small bit of good from this nightmare of a film though, it does not mean that he was cast well.

Remember the fan fiction trailer released well before a Green Lantern film was announced? I immediately fell in love with the idea of Nathan Fillion as Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern. Remember how he went from an easy going, joke-heavy bank robber in the beginning of “Serenity” to a serious soldier bent on saving a bar full of people in a moment? That was great!

Now this is no knock to Ryan Reynolds—he does well as a cocky hero type, comedies, and even romantic films, but there is no universe where he should be wearing a green suit and reciting the oath of the Green Lantern Corps. Although he did seem to fair well against a giant evil poop cloud.

Who They Should Have Cast: Nathan Fillion

 

4. Jim Carrey As The Riddler in Batman Forever

Remember what I said about Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face? You know that part about how he could have been a great actor for the role? I can’t say that about Jim Carrey. There is no world post the 1960′s where Ace Ventura is a successful Riddler. The closest Jim Carrey should have come to The Riddler is his furry and misshapen green body-suit when he played The Grinch. I can take Mark Hamill’s voice performance as The Joker on Batman’s many cartoon adventures more seriously than Carrey’s live-action performance as The Riddler. In fact, why didn’t Joel Schumacher just put a CG actor in Carrey’s place, and use Mark Hamill’s nutsy Joker voice for The Riddler? It would have been an improvement on Jim Carrey’s slapstick, moronic performance of a deranged sociopath obsessed with stealing brainwaves and destroying Batman.

It is truly sad when the console game: “Lego Batman” does a better job with a character than a film (with spoken dialog) does. The Riddler is far too complicated a character for Jim Carrey to tackle, and I am sad that we have yet to see a better take on this interesting villain.

Who They Should Have Cast: Someone who can act

 

3. Jessica Alba As Sue Storm in Fantastic Four

Let’s all face it; the studio cast Jessica Alba as Sue Storm because she is foremost among Hollywood sex symbols. Fan-boys cheered when Alba appeared naked (although invisible) on screen, and she certainly turned heads in her tight, Fantastic Four body-suit. Any time an actress gets cast for sex appeal, the results are usually deadly. Look at the most recent outing in the Transformers franchise? Michael Bay casts women that are drop-dead gorgeous in a Hollywood way, but his alternative to a cocky Megan Fox was a Victoria’s Secret model that looks both anorexic (I’ve seen pictures where her rib cage scarily sticks out) and can’t act to save her life. Seriously, when your naturally British accent sounds fake, something is wrong.

But I digress, back to Jessica Alba. Wait, I forgot, we’ve pretty much talked about everything that is important—how she looks. Sue Storm needs someone that can pull off intelligent, not just cheesy WB/CW acting. Someone that can pull off blonde a little better would have helped as well. There are plenty of actresses out there that could do well as Sue Storm.

Who They Should Have Cast:  Anna Torv of “Fringe”

2. Halle Berry as Catwoman in Catwoman

The Catwoman movie was so bad that I could only stand to watch little tidbits of it whenever it happened to air on television. The marketing stills of Halle Berry in her Cat costume make me cringe all by themselves. Halle Berry must have had fun playing dress-up, because the result, though scintillating, was terrifyingly horrible. I got embarrassed just thinking about watching this film.

I was at my in-laws house one day, and they had “Catwoman” playing (one of those tidbit times). I seriously thought it was a bad movie from the Lifetime channel, and then I saw Halle Berry. Berry and the studio had a noble idea in taking this role. Just as Lawrence Fishburne was cast in “The Man of Steel” as Perry White, Halle Berry was cast as a black Catwoman to change the character’s type-cast. That is no problem when done well, but when an actor portrays a comic-book character successfully, they usually don’t move on to another comic-book character.

Halle Berry is Storm from X-Men, not a weird rendition of the ultimate cat-burglar. If Zoe Saldana would have been around, and the studio decided to put together a better film, just imagine the Catwoman outcome. That is a film I would pay to see. In the meantime, I can’t wait to see Anne Hathaway play Catwoman. The trailer from “The Dark Knight Rises” looks promising, particularly when she sounds so much more menacing than previous renditions of the character. Will Selina Kyle be a true villain? I hope so.

Who They Should Have Cast: Zoe Saldana

 

1. (Almost) Everyone in Batman and Robin

At this point in the article, I hope my readers understand my loathing for Joel Schumacher’s Batman films. Just about every critic and fan out there hangs “Batman and Robin” by the neck as often as possible—it’s just that easy to beat up. First off, there are no nipples that can make Bat-nipples look good. Secondly, George Clooney is great a saving lives on “ER” and robbing banks in the Oceans franchise, but he stinks as Batman. I won’t even mention Robin—we’ll just pretend he only exists in the cartoons and with Adam West.

The (former) “Governator” Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze is perhaps one of the most disturbing ideas ever invented. Freeze is supposed to be grandly intelligent and obsessed with the loss of his wife, not over-the-top, cheesy, and just plain stupid. Although I suppose they got the strong part of Freeze right. To the Batgirl idea, I say: “Why?” I’ll just leave that one alone. I guess someone had to “act” for Bane’s character. Well, if you call grunting behind a bad Luchadore mask with dog-collar spikes acting, I guess it could be something resembling not bad.

About the only pieces this film cast correctly were Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy and Michael Gough as Alfred, who they inherited from the Tim Burton films. Some will disagree with me on the Poison Ivy choice, but had there been a better filmmaking team, she would have been amazing. The biggest people to blame for both Joel Schumacher films are those that hired him to make Batman in the first place. Maybe if Batman was becoming a Broadway Musical (which it did), Schumacher would have been an excellent choice to direct. Instead, Bat-fans everywhere will have an image forever cemented in our memories of bat-nipples other ridiculous things. Thank you, Christopher Nolan, for making Batman awesome again.

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