13 Movie Characters Who Would Be A Better President Than Jeb Bush

When Jeb Bush is inaugurated as America’s 45th President in January 2017, the ceremony will mark 8 years since his brother left office and 25 years since his father lost to Bill Clinton. This is fact, by the way – in true family tradition, the election has already been bought and paid for.

Surviving Bush III will be just like surviving In The Name Of The King III: The Last Mission – it requires courage and stamina, and most people won’t make it. But if America needs to swing to the right and usher in a new Dark Age, can’t we at least have a more flamboyant leader than the redneck son of a former CIA chief?

Certain alternatives are verboten: Dr Hannibal Lecter, for instance, would be considered “elitist” by old-time Republicans, and his accent wouldn’t go over at all. Adenoid Hynkel is too left wing, and a fan of ballet to boot. And let’s not get started on why Dr Frank N Furter isn’t suitable.

Here are the 13 men and women that could not only have mass appeal, but also destroy the planet with a smile and a pithy one-liner. Because if the world has to end, we want it to end in style.  

He looks about as menacing as a middle-aged former hairdresser, but you underestimate Tommy Devito at your peril. Tough, no-nonsense and unlikely to suffer fools gladly, Tommy has a hair trigger temper and something to prove, meaning he could at any moment ram an ice pick into your head.

Or perhaps he’ll take an offhand remark, twist it and turn it upon the speaker – a good way of dealing with nosy reporters on the campaign trail. Inform him that he’s a funny guy and he’ll say, “I’m funny how, I mean funny like a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to f**kin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?” Though not much of an orator, he'll win any debate he enters. if he doesn't, he'll find a use for his mother's steak knives.

Pros:

1. Magnetic presence

2. Completely amoral

3. Lacks empathy

Cons:

1. Unpredictable

2. Doesn’t take orders well

3. Likely to murder colleagues