If that famous experiment with those dogs and that drool is anything to go by, conditioning teaches us that frequent exposure to a certain set of circumstances will provoke a fixed reaction. So when you sit down to watch a movie, spare a thought to consider that, hey, maybe you, too, have been conditioned by all that precious escapism you love so much.
And we don’t mean conditioned to salivate whenever you hear the Universal Pictures fanfare, but conditioned into a kind of perpetual state of dumbness for all those hours you’ve spent staring at the screen. Because there are dozens of small things that happen in movies on a frequent basis, that, should they ever occur in real life, you’d stand back for a moment and splutter: “What the heck is going on? This is like a movie.” For example…
7. Getting Shot Isn’t So Bad
You’ve seen this little scenario play out a hundred times before. The main character is engaged in a deadly gun battle and the stakes are seriously high. Suddenly, they take a bullet, fall back, and state: “I’m okay. It’s just a shoulder shot.” That’s right: action movies require their heroes to look cool (and what’s cooler than being shot?) and have taught audiences not to concern themselves with bullet wounds that don’t strike “vital zones” (the chest, for example, or the head). “Took a slug to the kneecap? Don’t fret. We just needed you to get injured for dramatic purposes.”
Of course, here in the real world human beings have survived some amazing degrees of trauma. One man survived being shot twenty times – and that’s bound to happen statistically given how many people have been shot throughout history (it’s a lot). But characters shrugging off leg or shoulder shots like they’re mosquito bites isn’t as casual as movie-land wants us to believe. Only around 30% of those who take a critical bullet will survive the incident. Which doesn’t bode well for John T. Action Hero as he attempts to shoot a henchman whilst simultaneously ducking behind a barrel and reloading, given that, uh, he’s been shot in the arm and is losing a hell of a lot a blood. Unconsciousness would likely follow the initial impact, and if any major vessels had been struck, death would occur within minutes. So, yeah, Arnold Schwarzenegger movies aren’t realistic, apparently.
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4 Comments
People who have actually ever played video games know that you don’t need to move the controller at all. Mostly you need to just concentrate on what’s happening on the screen, and if you were to start smashing the buttons and actually dodging enemies in your front room, you’re just going to scare your family and – worse still – have to start the level again. Video games are nerdy, but they’re not that nerdy. Probably…
Someones never played Dead Space at night….
Excellent article!
This might just be an American thing, but for me i think its wierd that people in movies always walk inside the house with shoes on, even in houses with wall to wall carpeting. I can just imagine the dirt trodden paths that appear after some time that lead to and from the most used places in the house. Also they seem to not mind putting their feet up in couches, and laying in bed with shoes as well. Where are their manners? or maybe they just REALLY love cleaning their houses.
I agree, why do people always have their feet up on the sofa or bed while they still have shoes on? I don’t know anyone who does that.
Also, the clothes they wear always look brand new and never the same thing twice – especially teens – how the hell can they afford them all?
It’s always the little things that annoy me, especially when they are easy to fix.
I love this list. I mean, some people come to the movies to escape and all, but this is ridiculous. Dear Hollywood, please inject some notion of common sense into your films!