Baywatch Review: 2 Ups & 8 Downs

Even The Rock can't save it.

Baywatch Dwayne Johnson Zac Efron Kelly Rhorbach Jon Bass Alexandra Daddario Ilfenesh Hadera
Paramount

The dubiously-anticipated big-screen Baywatch reboot is almost here, and...critics have had a good time bashing it so far, in what's likely to end up one of the summer's most disappointing movies.

Despite the promise of the Dwayne Johnson-led action comedy being a spirited, R-rated reinvention of the admittedly rather lame TV source material, the end product is ultimately an incredibly inconsistent affair that fails to exploit its talented cast for all they're worth.

Though Baywatch is likely to be pretty critic-proof in the long run and perform decently at the box office regardless, it doesn't exactly leave one eager for the sequel that it so blatantly begs for as the credits roll...

Downs...

8. It's Not Sexy Enough

Baywatch Dwayne Johnson Alexandra Daddario.png
Paramount Pictures

The original TV show was unavoidably tethered to the constraints of network TV, and so it's not at all surprising that it was a pretty mild affair despite its reputation for being raunchy.

This Hollywood reboot, however, is blessed with an R-rating, which naturally caused fans to expect a major uptick in the amount of skin on show. As it turns out though, rather than baring boobs and butts left and right, the most nudity audiences will see is a dead man's penis. Really.

Considering that Zac Efron and Dwayne Johnson have bared their behinds before and Daddario has stripped off for True Detective, it's pretty surprising that they all keep themselves in swimsuits throughout...and The Rock even wears shirts in scenes when he really doesn't have to.

Considering the potential to massively up the raunch factor for the late-teen crowd, it feels like a wasted opportunity to blow it merely on profanity, drug use, occasional gore and that aforementioned dead dick.

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Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes). General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.