After months and months of waiting Rob Zombie's 5th feature length movie The Lords of Salem finally had its release here in the UK last month. When it became apparent that the film would in fact show up straight to DVD it has to be said myself and my friends were a little worried - after all Zombie's previous efforts had all made it onto the big screen. Nevertheless we placed our order on Amazon and eagerly awaited the arrival of our newest DVD. Two days later it arrived. A few hours after that and we were all scratching our heads and contemplating a refund. Zombies' work has split audiences all along. Even hardened genre addicts have fought amongst themselves trying to decide if Zombie is actually any good as a film maker. I am in the 'I live Rob Zombie' camp and will find 101 reasons to convince you of this fact. Sadly though even I'm struggling to find anything good to say about Lords of Salem. In fact I'll be completely honest and say it was a huge disappointment with a slow, meandering story and a terrible narrative. Sure it looked nice but you can polish a turd all you want and it is still a turd. I'll not go into too much detail here as to what went wrong (midget Devil with 2 insanely long penis' alert) but rest assured you'll probably be as dumbfounded as me and my mates if/when you get around to watching it. In an attempt to help myself and others heal from the Lords of Salem 'experience' I decided to look at Zombies' previous cinematic efforts and bring to you his 5 defining moments as a director, because love him or hate him there really is no one else quite like Rob Zombie.