War For The Planet Of The Apes: 10 Things That Must Happen

After two pretty darn good chapters, what does 'War' need to do before calling it a trilogy?

The new Planet of the Apes series has been an interesting ride thus far, breaking new ground and breathing new life into a rather stale franchise (no offense, Mark Wahlberg.) The story grows increasingly epic; the first movie saw our protagonist Caesar evolve from mere ape to leader and liberator of his kind, while the sequel had him battling to keep his vision for the apes' future alive amid escalating turmoil. The human race, meanwhile is... struggling. After experimenting with a cure for Alzheimer's disease, they give birth to the simian flu, which both creates super-smart apes and decimates the world's human population by the beginning of the second movie. Now, with the apes and humans firmly set on their decidedly opposite paths, it's time to close this out with a bang. There are a thousand ways it can all go down, but it definitely feels as though the whole thing would feel incomplete without a few key points. So read on, and see if you can picture being pleased without seeing the following ten things in 'War.'


CKUT radio host, underground lyricist, Michael Myers scholar and all-around world-class opiner. Signature move: Irony Bomb. Blood type: chai. Never seen in the same place and time as Logic Johnson, former featured columnist for Bleacher Report. Hopelessly unfamiliar with Yellow Submarine.