In the wonderful world that is nature, we have something called the ecosystem, where everything is interdependent on everything else. The wonderful world that is video gaming runs in a similar way. Game developers create games, game players pay money to play those games, and that money goes back to the game developers enabling them to start the cycle again. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, it really is.
However, there are a few hiccups in this marvellous symbiosis which sometimes cause the whole system to collapse in a mess of bitter reviews and bargain basement titles. Most, if not all, of the hiccups are caused by the developers failing to understand exactly what players are like, so here is my attempt to smooth over these troubled waters (and mangle many more sayings) by pointing out ten things that game developers wrongly think about players.
10. We All Live In Mansions
You’ve all seen those adverts for Wii and Kinect. The happy people in their enormous, whiter than white open plan living room leaping about and swinging their Wiimote with gay abandon. Hands up who’s got a house like that? Well, good for you Richard Branson, but for the majority of us our gaming takes place either in our living room or our bedroom. Neither of which resemble anything you see on television.
The lounge is full of inconvenient obstacles like furniture, shelves, small children, that sort of thing, and as for the bedroom, you try a few lunging forehands on Wii Sports Tennis and your hands soon look like you’ve gone ten rounds of bare knuckle fighting with a Weeping Angel. Plus there’s all the interference for the sensor bar meaning that if you’re more than two feet away, you’ve got about as much control over what’s going on as a supply teacher.
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7 Comments
Really enjoyed this. But, I’m not sure if I agree on that last bit. I mean, look how well they work cutscenes into games like Uncharted, and Assassin’s Creed. It helps develop both the story and character. Just because they’re long doesn’t mean they’re bad – I personally love them.
Oops sorry for the repost but totally agree with you there.
I totally agree with the cut scenes, I personally enjoy them, mainly because the story arch in some video games is way better than a lot of new movies that come out. Now that being said, I do not like watching the asme movie over and over and again. There should always be a OPTION to skip these especially in games with high replay value as the afformentioned above.
To go off the teens point, that actually makes sense from a developers view. When you are a teen, you probably have a job that you got strictly for purposes like buying games, or you are smart enough to convince your parents into buying for you. When you are younger, you can be easily convinced otherwised. Also, teens are easy target. These are the same people buying the “new” iPad/iPhone as soon as it come out. I know because i am a teen myself(i have a zunehd however)
Where’s the complaint about Quick-Time Events? These should have been laid to rest years ago as they generally add little to nothing to the narrative and just leave you with carpal tunnel syndrome, a frown and a knackered controller.
I really enjoyed this article! You’re right about a lot here and it’s sad. But, the health/warning things are because someone has idiodically done what they advise against, and since they didn’t have the warnings, they got sued.
good article. amusing too.
some devs do seem to live in an alternate universe where we have nothing better to do that to watch cut scenes in our bright white, sterile mansions.
i would also add to the annoyances, unskippable intro movies. at least load the frikkin movie in the background.
also, please be consistent with buttons used to get into games. in fifa it is x then start then x then start etc. isnt X enough?
i would also love to see a ‘im not frikkin retarded’ button somewhere so i dont have to see how dangerous PS Move might be. maybe, just maybe, if i dont have the bloody controllers and eyetoy plugged in assume im not using it??!?!?! i also know games use the HDD so please stop bugging me about this. surely after i have acknowledged this 1000+ times i might not need to see it again