10 Things Developers Wrongly Think About Gamers

9. We're Too Moronic To Look After Ourselves

Health and safety warnings. They€™ve been a part of gaming for decades now, and for the most part they€™ve been tucked away in the instruction manuals in tiny tiny writing. We could ignore them, and game developers could avoid getting their wide and comfy pants sued off. Everyone was happy. Then some numbnut threw their Wiimote through the TV, another one smashed a vase through a complete lack of spatial awareness and Nintendo had to place a warning at the start of the game. Developers ran with the idea and now the world has to suffer screen after screen of safety instructions as if playing a video game was somehow akin to base jumping or bomb disposal. €œMake sure you have the cord firmly looped around your wrist€, €œBe aware of people and objects around you€, €œIt looks a bit nippy out there, better wear a hat.€ You can€™t even get away from them in the game, repeatedly being asked: €œWhy not take a break?€ I€™ve just spent the best part of £40 on this game you€™ve made and 20 minutes in you€™re telling me to go and do something else? Mobile gaming isn't immune either. The 3DS warns you that you mustn€™t use the 3D function if you€™re under 8, and even if you€™re older than that there€™s still a risk that using it may make your eyes explode. I think. If I€™m honest I haven€™t actually read the warnings fully as they tend to make me go red and want to throw things. Perhaps it€™s the norm these days, but are we really that weak and feeble as a race? When I was growing up we regularly risked life and limb by spinning 2ps in the slots at Big Vinnie€™s arcade. Once they got shut down after the nailgun incident I played Goldeneye so much that for the next two weeks every time I saw a CCTV camera in real life my fingers literally twitched in a Pavlovian attempt to shoot it. I€™m still here, still healthy, still sane. If I see many more of these health warnings, that may change.
 
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Richard has been playing video games since the days of the BBC Micro, (and incidentally when is Chuckie Egg going to get a reboot?) He is currently available for the post of Head of Marketing at Nintendo, seeing as no-one else seems to be doing the job. He's also a major fan of fantasy/sf books and is just waiting for his novel about an assassin who doesn't wear a hood to get picked up.