Following on from our hugely successful article, 10 Things You Should Know About Dating a Cinephile, we’ve decided to examine those things you should probably know when seeking out a guy or gal who you suspect from their Zelda T-shirts and weekend cosplaying just might be a bit of a gamer. It’s a more complex question than the cinephile one arguably, if only because there’s a stereotype that a) gamers are men and b) gamers are socially awkward, unhealthy men who still live in their parents’ basements. Gamers, whether casual or hardcore, can present an interesting challenge in relationships, and though the pictures in this article might suggest otherwise, it is a problem that goes both ways as far as gender is concerned (there are only so many pictures online of women playing games, alright?).
Gamers can be a handful; they can be sweet and loyal (the stereotype is that they’ll be too busy gaming to be out at bars trying to cheat on you), but the nature of their habit can make them a cautionary prospect for many would-be suitors. Right from that first date, here are 10 things to keep in mind about dating a gamer…
10. “I Just Need To Finish…”
It’s a term that can mean many things despite seemingly having a relatively clear meaning, and it’s one that I’ve personally used with both my mother as a child when dinner was ready but I hadn’t quite beaten Ruby Weapon yet, and with partners also when it’s been time to go out/head to bed/do some cleaning/insert activity here. The important thing is to learn that when a gamer says this, they could be saying several things, and understanding the nature of games will help you to weather this; they might be just trying to get to the next save, they could be trying to finish the mission, or they could be trying to beat a boss. It might mean they’ll be done in 5 minutes, it might mean they’ll be done in 2 hours, and if your significant other has got a Raid in World of Warcraft to finish, you may as well just write the rest of the day off, to be honest.
In honesty, speaking as someone who has benefited from this before, it’s probably best not to let this one slide too often, as it invites complacency and your partner might end up continually saying “Just one more checkpoint”, obliterating the entire evening for you. Lock them down to a time, though I wouldn’t advise just turning the console off after 10 minutes if you value the relationship all that much.
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36 Comments
Good article. Forwarding to my gf.
My girlfriend is more of a gamer than me. I’m not sure whether that makes me very happy or totally emasculated.
Are women inferior to men? No, so emasculation should not be an issue. Gaming is human entertainment, not a masculinity-prover.
It’s ok, I’m pretty sure he was just making a joke.
lul kid mad over a joke
this is spot on. i tried to use shadow of the colossus to prove that exact point to my wife about a month ago. bravo
The main one for me is that when my girlfriend thinks it is okay to walk across the screen, even for 1 second!
great article – I’ll have my wife give this one a read! Used to be that I had to sneek away from bed on weekends (the only real game-time I’ve got now). I’m fortunate enough that nowdays , even after a, uh… “intimate” evening, my wife will kiss me and say: “Now go save the world.” I’m one lucky SOB!
instead of SotC I use journey/flower/flow
This is absolutely abysmal from start to finish.
Says the guy without a girlfriend.
You don’t have to be cynical (modestly speaking) about something someone is passionate about and is appreciated for. I’m pretty sure i wouldn’t be distressed when you watch football (BTW did you get your picture taken during such a bout…)
Ridiculous, telling girls NOT to beat guys at a game! Be subservient to the man and let him never learn what it is to be humbled once in a while? Never try your hardest? That’s effed up there. Think about the implications in all aspects of life for that kind of “advice!”
If he loses, he can work hard to improve. That’s the point of gaming in the first place! Women aren’t inferior, so there’s nothing shameful about being beaten by one in a video game! …Or do you think they ARE inferior? Good luck getting a date at all, buster!
“Let’s hook up girl… But only if I get to always defeat you and rub my superiority in your face. Hey, where you goin’?”
Did you notice how the writer used the term “partner”? He’s not saying he or she when saying “let your partner win”. You’ve just placed your own assumptions about the author’s position without acknowledging it could be about either author. My ex flatmate was a very committed gamer, even went on to work for Rockstar, and it was well known that Chris (her boyfriend) was not allowed to beat her at Halo. He never broke said rule (though I doubt on purpose).
To the author – great, responsible article. To this commentator – learn to read properly!
Ridiculous, telling girls NOT to beat guys at a game! Be subservient to the man and let him never learn what it is to be humbled once in a while? Never try your hardest? That’s effed up there. Think about the implications in all aspects of life for that kind of “advice!”
If he loses, he can work hard to improve. That’s the point of gaming in the first place! Women aren’t inferior, so there’s nothing shameful about being beaten by one in a video game! …Or do you think they ARE inferior? Good luck getting a date at all, buster!
“Let’s hook up girl… But only if I get to always defeat you and rub my superiority in your face. Hey, where you goin’?”
(Sorry if this posts twice, it keeps not showing up for me here when all my other posts come up right away)
You do realize this article goes both ways, right? It’s ironic that you’re mad at someone for joking that they feel emasculated when their gf is a bigger gamer, but then only apply the concepts in this article to a guy’s side of the relationship :|
Hey! Only women are allowed to be upset about double standards!
Pretty sure this is just an insane feminist. Good article, makes me feel like someone understands me for once.
He isn’t. He misunderstood the article, this doesn’t make him insane, even if it might make you more comfortable to invalidate him like this.
If they had really said that girls had to lose for the guy’s ego, that’d be indeed a problem.
Dating a gamer must be a living hell for the person. Then again, dating in general is normally hell.
Totally forwarding this to my girlfriend. Lol!
what is game number 3 D:
This article is sad… I play plenty of games, but I can keep the real world seperated from a video game.
Most of the things listed is from the tone is your significant other should never interrupt you whatsoever while you play games.
Just a hint if you want a keep a girl longer than a couple of months, find the pause button whenever she talks. If you ignore her talk, be prepared to watch her walk.
Just chat away during her fave TV shows and soaps. That rams the message home.
It’s a bit of both. It’s all about space you guys and gals. Set aside your alone time. But be aware when its time to be with your partner. If you notice the person is upset, press pause. Or realize that no matter what, and I mean no matter what the person you love is always more important than a game. It’s called good judgement. I do agree with the whole staying up after she sleeps though. I do that lol though only because I love just zoning out at night with no lights.
“YOU CAN’T PAUSE WHEN YOU’RE IN MULTIPLAYER MODE’ should be added to the list.. “Pause it, dinner is ready” You: *Facepalm*
This is my life XD But I would add like “Understand that your partner still loves you if he or she sometimes chooses video games instead of date night.” My boyfriend understands that, but I am blessed and I can imagine someone feeling hurt that I’d rather play a game than go out with him once in a while.
lol number 2 is sooo true .
Love the article, my GF understands that when I’m playing she won’t bother me, that’s wat iPads are for lol
So true lol. I HATE when people try to talk to me or get me to do something when I’m trying to complete a mission. No, I don’t want to pause my game to do it. It can wait until AFTER I’m done.
I am so freaking lucky that my wife is a gamer as well. When Borderlands 2 came out, she suggested taking the Friday off work so we could play all day while our son was in Child Care.
I love my life
If ANYONE were ignorant enough to try talking to me during any Metal Gear cutscene, they would receive any and every object near me to the face.
so glad i’m not alone, i showed this article to my gf about 2 week’s ago and she read it, and since has not interupted any off my gaming, other than a kiss gudnight but like she said it the game or inimate relation’s(sex) but she horny so i get morning glory instead, she’s not a gamer she’s a sport’s freak so i’m the luckest man here a sport’s gal nd get heap’s off game time
sweet! Me and my gf are both gamers, so we are well aware of most of these.
Still waiting for a nice console for fun co-op games :)
As a female gamer, this was people would have to deal with me about. “I Just Need to Finish” is important, anything important said just distracts me, anyone helping me will just piss me off and cutscenes are my life so anyone who talks then is asking for a death wish. They are so important in a game to me so I have no clue why someone would assume it’s a break or I should pause the game.
I would never dress up as any game character so there is nothing to worry about there.
This is kinda sad. This article is basically suggesting that the girlfriends/wives should compromise their needs for affection from their loved ones just so that their boyfriends/husbands could continue playing. By continuing those games and setting aside the time with your girlfriends/wives, you’re missing out on what should’ve been your life together. You could’ve created far more fulfilling memories with them but instead, you choose to keep yourself in your room, staring blankly at a screen. For what? Minor victories that is nothing compared to what you could be accomplishing in real life? I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong. I just have a different mind set when it comes to what’s really important.