10 Video Game Endings With Disturbing Implications You Totally Missed

3. Tekken 5: Lee Chaolan's Ending

Tekken Ending
Namco Bandai

Very little beats beating a fighting game for pure unadulterated macho joy. As the button bashing got quicker and opponents harder, it became a thing of the distant past for me to get anywhere near battling the final boss, but with Tekken 5 I somehow managed it through hard work (cheating) and dedication (more cheating.)

My chosen warrior was Lee Chaolan, a fine specimen of a man who offed opponents with consummate ease, even under the control of my dangerously inept podgy fingers. And finally, when the final boss fell, and my fists involuntarily went skyward silently, I settled down to watch the character's ending sequence, hoping I'd hit on a good choice.

So you can imagine my dismay when I was treated to the sight of too much naked man-flesh, with with victorious Lee Chaolan goading his man-servant (revealed to be Heihachi Mishimo, his adoptive father), while threatening him with the explosive bow-tie around his neck.

All of this strange Oedipal mesh plays out as both men are wearing nothing more than speedos (aside from said bow-tie,) and we are encouraged to laugh at the misfortune of the fallen villain (as well as marvel at his firm, ancient body) while he is powerless to run or fight back. Seriously?

But wait...

Seriously, how could this ever turn out positively? If you can ignore the strangely homo-erotic fascination Lee clearly has with his father's body (and his backside predominantly - which is remarkable for an older gent, I have to say) you have to consider the context of the situation.

Heihachi is an evil genius, capable of great feats of villainy, who wouldn't stop at swatting fellow humans off the Earth like bugs on a picnic blanket, and he is also burdened with the usual mega-villain traits of pride and vanity. There is no way he would suffer the indignity of servitude, and would inevitably either escape (the bow-tie hardly looks secure) or decide to kill himself and his tormenter in the process.

And when that happens, the collateral damage would be fairly huge, given the size of the explosion in Heihachi's mind's eye in the video above.

In this post: 
Heavy Rain
First Posted On: 
Executive Editor
Executive Editor

Executive Editor, chief Gunter and WhatCulture.com's most read writer. Like ever.