Another night at home with the console, eh? Just you, the controller and that old Master Chief T-shirt that you got with your Halo 2 pre-order all those years ago. But it’s okay: you’re not alone because there are thousands of other gamers out there who are all accessible through the world of online gaming, and almost all of whom are in exactly the same boat as you are.
It’s a widespread stereotype that gamers struggle to get girlfriends and, although this is mostly over-exaggerated, there is a lot of truth in it. Now of course there are gamers out there who are in happy and successful relationships and to those we must offer kudos. To the unfortunate majority, however, we offer help. Why is it that modern gamers struggle to get girlfriends? Surely we are not an inherently unlovable group?
Well the truth is we kind of are, but it’s okay; this status is certainly not permanent and by understanding the problem we may finally be able to get past it. With these five reasons gamers struggle to get girlfriends we can start to work on a solution and then all go on to find ourselves hearty wenches!
Although if I keep talking like that it’s probably going to be a while for me…
5. Their Expectations Are Too High
Think of any memorable female video game character you know. Now think about the words you’d use to describe them. Chances are words like “strong”, “attractive” and perhaps even “perfect” are probably coming to mind now, right? The truth is that most prominent female characters in modern video games have given gamers unrealistic expectations of what kind of girl they want to meet in real life. So let’s take a look at some of the characters responsible for these expectations.
Characters like Mass Effect’s Miranda Lawson exist in the narratives of many modern games, striking that perfect balance of being a useful ally to players, but also a potential love interest for the characters they are playing. In Mass Effect 2, Miranda is just one of Commander Shepard’s romantic options, but she is by far the most popular. Miranda is a human, but has been given numerous augmentations that make her the perfect warrior. She is also very attractive – again the result of her enhancements. She is designed to be perfect, and she is.
Miranda is not the only character like this that exists in modern games. Characters like Tekken’s Anna Williams or the iconic Lara Croft all have the looks, brains and ass-kicking skills to be considered the ideal woman for any modern gamer. The sad truth, though, is that they are not real. Not even close. There are no sexy archaeologist adventuresses out there about to save you from falling rubble in the most meet-cute/nerdgasmic story ever. The sooner we all realise that Lara Croft is not the woman we are going to marry the sooner we can all turn our focus to getting a real woman.
Oh, go on; they can be pretty cool too, you know!
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29 Comments
What a great read, spot on.
I guess to struggle to get a girlfriend/boyfriend would mean that you’d have to put in effort in the first place, but assuming the title didn’t mean to imply this, my #1 would be “They’re not trying”
My experience:
When I was younger I really didn’t care about getting a girlfriend. All I wanted to do was play computer games–mostly GoldSrc Counter-Strike. If the libido ever acted up, I’d jerk off and then play Counter-Strike. The one time I was asked out by a girl, I rejected her and then went home and played more Counter-Strike.
Now that I’m in my 20s, the desire for a relationship is much more apparent. The lack of experience certainly makes it much more difficult to relate or even enjoy myself in those situations, so I often wonder if being honest with myself back then was a good idea. The biggest hurdle for me has been lowering my expectations and coming to terms with just how much work is necessary to maintain a relationship.
Then gain experience and a relationship is never easy work.
Awful article. I love the suggestion from this article that women all just demand attention and are so self-centred that men have to sacrifice playing video games to fill their craving for attention.
Not to mention your implication that women don’t play video games at all. Because videogames are just for nerds right? It’s impossible that there are women playing too?
Being an avid video game player does not stop you from getting a girlfriend. Being socially retarded stops you from getting a girlfriend. The two, despite popular belief, are not related.
Fair point, but can I just say that this isn’t a serious article. I make no secret of the fact that it’s all based on stereotypes, the biggest of which being that women don’t play games.
I appreciate the style of the piece is quite pompously authoritative, but that was supposed to make it more sarcastic. I can assure you this piece is not indicative of the way I think!
If it’s seriously supposed to be sarcastic, you should probably aim to be more over the top. I was just getting annoyed by the end. I wondered if you were serious a couple of times, but there are some people on the internet with some really stupid ideas. You never can tell. Especially because the intro makes it seem at least semi-serious. And then led off with a reason that’s at least half true for a lot of people.
I was thinking the same thing, that it’s really social ineptness, not gaming itself, but I think a couple factors are at work here:
1. The socially inept are attracted to gaming. Not that all gamers are socially inept, but you will find a higher proportion of the socially inept among gamers. Just as you will find a higher proportion of the socially inept among stamp collectors, but gaming is far more popular than stamp collecting today. Gaming offers a very structured environment, with clear-cut, immediate, yet non-real, consequences, which is the complete opposite of free-form social interaction.
2. Heavy involvement in gaming can stifle social development, especially among those already predisposed to poor social skills. The only way to master something is to do it, over and over. Kids who grow up playing games learn how to produce a sequence of images and sounds, by manipulating an electronic device, but they are not spending time interacting with other human beings, or when they are, the interaction centers around the game, and tends to be confrontational and self-referential (thus the thing about lame humor).
Obviously not everyone falls into this description, and he’s using some broad generalizations, but I think there’s some worthwhile insight here.
‘You don’t have a girlfriend because you’re unfocussed, your perfect woman is Lara Croft, and most women went attention and aren’t going to get your weird Skyrim jokes.’
This is amazing. And so totally off the mark in understanding how many women are into gaming or understanding the basic need for attention is underdriven by the need to procreate.
Guys, if you like talking about games…why not just..find a girl who’s into games? there’s quite a few of them about. See, Oh, i don’t know, any major comics, gaming etc convention. Just a thought.
See the above comment where you’ll find your concerns have already been addressed BEFORE you posted. And have a great day.
This made me laugh a lot. Well played, sir!
You forgot bad personal hygiene such as greasy hair, bad B.O. and that allergy to sunlight through spending a life in that discusting pit that even their mothers won’t clean. That’s before even mentioning the general feeling that they think that they are above normal people!
Okay, 1st of all this article is very inaccurate. The person who wrote this article has obviously not spent time in the outside world, yet speaks about gamers not having gf’s and barely spending time in the outside world. I am a gamer and i game alot, yet i’ve had plenty of girlfriends (most weren’t gamers at all), spent plenty of time with them and kept the love going. There are ALOT of female gamers in the world now, around the 50 percentile. And i talk with numerous gamers who separate the fiction of gaming from the real world and get girl friends. And i take care of my personal hygiene and tell great hilarious gamer/non gamer jokes to gamers and non gamers. So you need to get your facts/opinions straight and study the outside world more before making another terribly inaccurate article such as this one. Good day to you sir. Oh and the “arrow to the knee” jokes are not funny, you were right about that, i only laugh cause they’re so repetitive, yet aren’t funny.
Once again, this is NOT supposed to be serious. It’s sarcastic and obviously based on generalisations and stereotypes, most of which are clearly not true! Sorry you so drastically took offence, but come on, why would anyone try to suggest this is meant to be a realistic article?
Oh, and thanks for your life story.
Play alot of games, have a beautiful girlfriend who changes into an alarm clock when i play games. But she loves me as much as i love her. Curently clocking upto 3-4hrs a day on Far Cry 3 after/before work! Anyway found the article very funny, loved the first picture… LOL!!
Nice work Gareth!
Haha, well I’m glad someone enjoyed it! How are you finding Far Cry? I haven’t given it a chance yet but I’ve heard good things!
For number 5 there is an achievement it’s called sex so yeah sex is good
I don’t think this article’s author considered GIRL gamers… they exist you know, and most of them don’t care if you play games all the time because… they do too.
That last part about lara croft was funny.
That last part about lara was funny.
I never knew Bill Bailey was a gamer?
Not me.Basically,eye contact is enough for me.Plus im in school too,and every woman there is some kids mother.
Anywhere else,all they want is what you don’t have,or they’ll cheat on you.Experience is a blessing.Keep your money,stay fresh,and keep gaming.
Me and my boyfriend almost broke up over video games, but then he taught me how to play and our relationship has been smooth since. The attention ones totally true but its hard to not get attention when your boyfriend is turned on by your amazing zombie killing skills. ;) so maybe women should just learn to play video games.
I sense a lot of Social Anxiety in the text.
Funny article. Give the guy a break.
It’s a jokey, if not sarcastic article.
Gamers with girlfriends aren’t really gamers – they’re probably just actual men who play COD after a session at the gym.
Real gamers are ugly, socially inept, inadequate specimens – and THAT is why they don’t have girlfriends.
Trust me – I used to be one. A little self determination and cosmetic surgury goes a long way.
This article is either not serious or aimed at the people who only live to play video games, which is not what most gamers are like. My spare time is dedicated to video games, but I have no problem communicating and flirting with women. The only reason I haven’t tried to get a girlfriend recently is cause I don’t have a job or a car. And video games definitely didnt get in the way of my last relationship.
“Gamers don’t stick to one genre.” Wow, did I miss that memo. I only play RPGs, and fantasy RPGs to be exact. Kind of sick of the majority of games being realistic, future-based, or robotronic/alien-centric. I like elves, ogres, dwarves, magic, and far-away evils that need to be vanquished. I hate any other genre. Guess I’m the oddball there, too. Figures.
I may not have a girlfriend, but that’s only because my boyfriend might have an issue with that. :) Plus, there’s that whole liking putty tat requirement, and … Ew. No offense, ladies :)
Lots of non-gamer girls are looking not only for attention but also security, not just to become wealthy but build a foundation to sustain a family tomorrow, especially Asians.
Unless the gamer is a successful youtube/twitch streamer bringing good money in, a gamer that just spend lots of time playing, instead of thinking of build a side business, could be a major turn off, if you expect to get a smart girl interested in a long term relationship towards the marriage.
If two nerd gamers get together, while it looks like a good union, if they play all the time, and are not able to sustain their family, get more problems with the outside world, and things could get very bad, look at certain Asian nerdy couple where their children die starving.
If two smart gamers get together, it would be a great union, but it’s not so common in my opinion. People who work hard and play hard, usually like other type of play, not games. If you get 2 together, it could quite special and successful union.
If one smart gamer get together with a nerd gamer, which is what I think to be more common gamers relationship on average, you will get understanding and a moderately supported family.
If a nerdy gamer get together with a smart non gamer, while it’s difficult, it could bring a lot into the table, if they are able to accept and treasure their differences, it could benefit the nerd gamers in term of social improvement, while keep the smart non gamer happy in other ways, less risk of infidelity as nerd gamers are smart, lazy and one pretty and smart girl is more than enough, smart girls with a particular taste like this kind of guys, especially if they are nice looking and with potential to develop.
Your article has points identical to a fan of a music group. Especially the one about their expectations is too high! Personally I could never do it with a video game character; I mean most of us don’t look like them unless we want to try so to expect another person to be is ridiculous! Unfocused is a good point! With Awful Conversationists, I think it depends on the person. If all they talk about is video games most of the time or something only they like then I can understand that!
Laughing at the achievement part!