If you’re anything like everyone, you’ve heard of the upcoming sandbox giant of a game, GTA V. If you haven’t heard of it, go back to the gaming page of What Culture and click on literally any article. Chances are you’ll hit paydirt.
People are pretty epically excited about GTA V. The word on the street is that it’s supposed to be all that and a bag of chips. Me? I’m just not that into it. I get it. GTA San Andreas was probably one of the best games I’ve ever played. GTA IV was fun in a having to constantly stay in contact with people that annoyed the crap out of me while being very careful not to violate traffic laws way, because I’m a depressing Serbian immigrant way. In other words, not so much.
While most people were following Niko through a grey and demeaning existential arrival in Liberty City, I was a 400 pound Asian guy with butterfly tattoos all over his naked body spraying feces through a fire hose onto passing pedestrians.
And, when all you GTA fans are out there doing whatever it is you do in GTA V (probably writing emails to your mom), I’ll be rocket punching aliens through walls in the upcoming Saints Row IV.
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This article was first posted on August 22, 2013