Well, the people have spoken. According to the listeners of BBC 6Music, the best song from the past decade is Clocks by Coldplay.
I couldn’t be happier with this outcome. Every generation appears to have a band that it’s not “OK” to like. Said band then becomes the butt of every single lazy criticism that can possibly be made of music; their very name a synonym for blandness itself. Criticisms of such bands become so commonplace that those who hurl the insults ironically become infinitely more boring and tedious than the music they so gleefully attack.
As a huge Coldplay fan whose defence of the band could often be described as “militant”, it’s lovely to have some validation for a change. It’s great to feel, for once, that just because I like Coldplay it doesn’t make me any less of a person.
Because you’re wrong, you know. Not to hate Coldplay. Oh no, you’re perfectly entitled to your opinion. Nobody’s forcing you to listen to them. Ever. But when it comes to your inchoate, narrow minded, unimaginative and hackneyed explanation of just why it’s wrong to like Coldplay, you honestly could not be more mistaken.
In the wake of this sudden confirmation that it’s actually fine to like Coldplay, let’s take a look at five of the most common criticisms of the band and examine, in turn, why each offers a deeply flawed argument.
5. All Of Their Songs Are Slow And Miserable
I can sort of understand the reasoning behind this one. People hear songs like Trouble, The Scientist and Fix You; shudder; and assume that all of their songs must be cut from the same cloth.
I know it’s hopelessly naive of me to assume that any ardent Coldplay hater will even bother to listen to any of the following; but their back catalogue is loaded with such infective nuggets of incandescent joy as Shiver, Hurts Like Heaven, Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall, Lovers In Japan, Strawberry Swing, Speed of Sound and Glass of Water. It’s therefore easy for me to conclude that anyone who makes this argument in earnest either hasn’t heard much Coldplay, or they have no grasp of such concepts as tempo and key.
I appreciate it’s hard for some to understand that anybody could ever get anything even approaching enjoyment from listening to Coldplay, but trust me. Some of their songs are powerful enough to inspire an almost overwhelming sense of euphoria. Live, they’re even more potent – even magical.
A less developed cousin of this criticism is that all of Coldplay’s songs “sound the same”, with no further discussion of just how this might be at all possible. It’s surprising how often I hear this argument, but when I do I know that I’m safe; as I’m apparently in the company of someone who was born without ears.
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15 Comments
‘Til Kingdom Come remains one of my favourite songs of the 21st Century, despite its terribly placed appearance in the recent Spiderman. I wouldn’t class myself as a huge Coldplay fan but I respect them and disagree with 90% of what haters have to say about them.
Coldplay is overated. 1. Chris Martin sounds like a helium filled madonna/ 2. Stealing the occasional beat from a song is ok but when you steal the riff note for note and don’t give the guy your stealing it from credit that to me deserves a kick to the head/ 3.Coldplay is for people who are afraid of rock music and heavy metal/ 4.Just cause
Chris Martin is sensitive doesn’t mean his music is good and also he is horribly musically untalented one range singing and can barely play guitar. Your article suggests that you need to get off the pot or stop smoking your bong cause coldplay sucks bad
Coldplay are a fantastic band who get far too much criticism. While their latest work, Mylo Xyloto, is nothing special, they have made some cracking albums and some truly outstanding songs in their own right. What is most impressive about Coldplay though is their immense ability to put on a truly spectacular and stunning live show. They are a band for everyone regardless of age, sex, skin colour or nationality and that’s why they do so well.
They slice through the dividing lines of music making a complete mockery of those people (largely Pitchfork readers) who’s elitist and snobbish attitudes to music try their desperate best to make music something of an “exclusive” entity. Which is a shame because music is universal at the end of the day and Coldplay are a universal band. You don’t have to like them at all but you can’t deny their effectiveness on a musical front. If every band could do what Chris Martin and co do then we’d all be rich. Their strength lies in their hymn like melodies.
The talent for melody is the greatest talent in music I feel and clearly Chris Martin, like Noel Gallagher, Ray Davies, Bono and Paul McCartney before him, has it.
I must say, I don’t really mind Coldplay. Chris Martin has become a bit irritating as he’s got older but they still write good songs and always have done.
I do find them awfully middle-of-the-road though. They are good but nothing more than that. They write very inoffensive music that isn’t edgy nor particularly original. I think of them in a similar way to the Killers really, some great sing-a-long songs but nothing of great substance. For most people, that is all that matters but I like bands that are deeper and a bit more edgy. Coldplay would never write any songs like the post-punk bands of the early 1980s who are still big now.
Well done Elliot! I too am militant in my defense of them and am sick of hearing the same hackneyed criticisms by those who haven’t even heard more than a few of their songs usually. And as for bland, anyone who has heard Charlie Brown, God Put a Smile Upon Your Face, Violet Hill and so many others, especially when performed live, will readily dismiss this.
Wow, some overdue common sense from a journo.
Trouble is, no-matter what anyone says, you will always get bigots like Jeff.
Doesn’t it always strike you that the CP haters must have Google alerts, ‘cos they always get there first? And why do they HAVE to make not only ANY comment, but the most long-winded defence of their pathetic views?
I am NOT a fan of loads of bands, but I definitely DON’T go on their forums and slag them off.
I mean, who EVER slagged off Sinatra for NOT penning a single word or note?
I’m a relatively recent fan, since X&Y, and I’ve seen the MX tour twice. MEN Arena Manchester, indoor, 15,000. And Ricoh Arena, Coventry, outdoor 40,000. Both brilliant in different ways, but for up close, and sound quality, MEN. But for capturing the love, with everyone, and I mean E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E clapping and singing to Clocks, it has to be Ricoh.
But you know, as Chris usually says after his welcome, ‘Let’s get on with the show’ and that’s what it is, just ****ing fantastic.
Thanks Mark. I’m with you there. I don’t understand what it is with some people. It’s one thing to dislike a band, but to actively seek out the sort of people who happen to hold a different opinion just to tell them that they’re wrong? I just don’t get it. I really, really don’t. Are they bored? Arrogant? Or are they just terrible people? I mean, I really don’t like Oasis. But if I saw an article about them, I wouldn’t even want to read it – let alone comment on it. Why would I waste my time doing so when there’s so much good stuff out there? Strange.
Wow, someone’s been criticised for being a Coldplay fan. This article isn’t “Why are Coldplay not as bad as everyone says?” It’s more… “Please stop bullying me for liking Coldplay”
Not just me; all Coldplay fans! Coldplay might be fair game for some, but their fans certainly are not. If people won’t accept the “if you don’t like it, don’t listen to it” mantra, I have a better one: Say what you will about the band, but leave the fans alone. It’s quite simple, and if everyone took this approach to everything, the world would be a much better place.
The fact is that Coldplay are not an unpopular band. Some people may say they don’t like them but they are still much bigger than other bands that get ‘hated’.
Wow, I never realised Coldplay fans were so mercilessly bullied. If you or anyone else needs more help, please call Childline on 0800 11 11.
Red Nose Day is coming up; you might even get through to Chris Martin himself!
Hi Phil
Loving your work.
But as Elliot says, it’s one thing to dislike a band, but to actively seek out someone to tell them they are wrong is very, very sad.
As Super Hans says to Jeremy in Peep Show “people voted for nazis and like Coldplay! You can’t trust people!”
Fun article either way. But Mylo was average.
it’s the best mainstream band. Their lyrics are so sensitive, so simple yet amazing. They dont have only ‘sad’ songs; listen to ‘God put a smile upon your face’, ‘Politik’, ‘Major Minus’, ‘poor me’. They have a lot of different songs that are very original: ‘ hurts like heaven’, ’42′, ‘sleeping sun’, and a long etcera. The only thing that I cant forgive is that they didnt come to Argentina. I am waiting for them. :(
I aint a coldplay hater, don’t mind a few of their tracks and maybe 2 of their albums, but I was one of the people stunned in disbelief when Clocks got the nod. Its not even their best single.