4. Their Lyrics Are Terrible
Of all the tired criticisms levied at Coldplay, this is the closest anyone ever comes to having a point. I'll be the first to admit that Chris Martin's lyrics often leave a lot to be desired. But that's not to say that they're terrible or completely without merit.
Christmas Lights, for example, is touching, poignant and evocative; whilst
Charlie Brown deftly captures the sense of lost innocence through spinning a classic coming of age narrative. But even at their worst, Coldplay lyrics can be so all-encompassing as to offer comfort to anyone who needs it. Often, their very vagueness is what makes them so remarkable. Songs like
In My Place could be about
anything, and that's the whole point. Such lyrics as I was scared/Tired and under-prepared, delivered with such humane weariness, could console anyone whether they're wary of an exam, a job interview, the results of a medical test or a reconciliation in the wake of an argument. Through being about nothing, their songs could be about everything. Because their lyrics are so open, everyone is free to attach their own spins, interpretations or significance to Coldplay songs. That's partly why they're so popular. But perhaps you feel that this is a function that music simply shouldn't fulfil. Fair enough. But know that, if you attack Coldplay solely on lyrical grounds, you're creating a strict set of standards with which all music you listen to must abide. When they're good, song lyrics can be so powerful they're mesmerising. But are they really that important? Unless you're listening to rap or a certain strain of literate singer-songwriter, to what extent are you taking in lyrics anyway? Lyrics are important, but they're seldom the be-all and end-all of music; and it's hardly ever the case that you can cite them as the sole reason for disliking a song or band. It was Jarvis Cocker who pointed out that
Louie Louie by The Kingsmen a song that's about as close as song's get to being universally liked is essentially composed of gibberish. Does that make it any less of an engaging and energising anthem? So by all means attack Coldplay on lyrical grounds. But in doing so, make sure that you judge absolutely everyone else by the same standards. Otherwise you'll come across as a hypocrite. And you're not a hypocrite, are you?